Thursday, March 28, 2013

This week mattters..... a lot.

This week is the most important week the Christian Church has seen in years
The way the Christian Church responds in this week is the week that the next year hinges on.  If we, as Christ's Body, respond wrong we will have years of digging out to do.  If we are unable to fight for what really matters this week we have lost the battle and are failing at being God's people. If the response here is not right I might be finding my way out of the Church for a few years.

This week is important because it is holy week
This week matters because as everything else goes on around us we need to focus not on politics and homosexuality but on the fact that this weekend Jesus carried his cross to a hill and died to show love to sinners like me.  He took on the death that we all deserve.  He died a horrific death, that I deserve, to be the sacrifice we all need to set us free from sin. When Friday comes the focus needs to be on the sacrifice that Jesus gives to us to save us from ourselves.

And then it gets even better
Because come Sunday Jesus stands up and walks out of the grave and sets us free from our sin forever. This should be the biggest thing that the Church talks about for the rest of the week. That is what really matters this week is that we have been set free from sin. That there is this amazing guy named Jesus, who is also God, who died on a cross for you and me.  This week I would like to think not about the sin in myself and the world but rather see the person who freed me from my sin.

So for me I'm gonna spend the rest of this week thinking about Jesus setting me free from sin
I want this week to be about God setting us free from sin.  Including homosexuality, sexual immorality, lust, judgment, greed, etc.  I want to stop fighting for the world to live like me and fight to point the world to the man who died to save us from sin. I want to love first.  I want to die on the same hill Jesus died on, the hill of love. I'm tired of fighting sin in a world of sinners I want to fight for love in a world that knows not love.  The issue of same-sex marriage can be addressed at another time. For this week I want love to be seen on earth.  I want the world to see that God is love.  For now I would rather see us shout about the fact that Jesus died on a cross to save sinners, like me, than point out peoples sin.  I want to die on the cross next to Jesus, dying to show love.

Please join me in focusing not on sin but on love. Because I believe the goal is to fight hate with love not fight disagreements with judgment and politics.

What do you think?  What should the focus be this week?        

Saturday, March 23, 2013

I Am strong enough....

(I won't give up on us, God knows I'm tough enough and God knows we're worth it.... Jason Mraz)

The other day I read this a Twitter
And since Twitter is always a great place to find quick little thoughts like this that, often, seem very true, I simply read it and moved on like it was a normal simple thought.  Also the fact that it was posted by a Christian friend who I trust greatly and the fact that the picture that went with it was of her Church worship service led me to simply agree with the idea behind this quote and move on.  


But here is the problem this quote is just plan wrong
God knows I'm tough enough?  Since when does God give a damn about how tough I am? If God was planning on letting me get away with only doing what I was tough enough to handle I would never do anything of any meaning for his Kingdom. If God only give us what we could handle, be tough enough for, than I question if God even exists because if I can handle everything than why do I need God?  If there is not a deep need in my life for God why would God even be there?  If I can handle everything in life, if I'm tough enough for all of this, than I would guess I am pretty close to being a god.

At this point even I feel like I am saying crazy stuff
So here is what I am thinking.  God doesn't give us stuff we can handle.  He doesn't say "Oh, you are tough enough for this". He says "I'm going to give you more than you could ever handle, I'm going to breaking down any toughness you think you have and leaving you broken on the floor if you believe you can handle anything." And after he says that he will keep going and say "However if you are willing to see that you cannot handle life, that what I throw at you is, in fact, more than you can handle, I promise to be there for you and walk through the good and bad times with you because the I Am is strong enough to handle this"

Now think about that for a second.......
What keeps us held back, I believe, is not the stuff going on around us but rather the fact that we believe we can handle it.  What keeps us from living the life God wants us to (and I am the worst of sinners when it comes to this) is believing, for even a second, that we are tough enough to handle it.

When I take the situations around me and say "Don't worry God I got this!"
I am done.  There is no hope for me.  I am like a man who jumped off a boat having no idea how to swim and having been to dumb to take something that floats with me, I am without a doubt dead!  But if I look to Jesus I will surely walk on water.  But once I start believing I have it under control I will once again be lost at sea.

I pray God will give me more than I could ever hope to handle and then grab my hand and say "I got this son.  Just keep your eyes on me and I will take you through all of this because I AM is strong enough."

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

When You Can't Find God at Church....

{This is part two of an on going series about my Journey from High School to today.  Post one can be read here. http://theidleassembly.blogspot.com/2013/03/when-you-need-faith-like-child.html}


( And I must be an acrobat ,To talk like this and act like that., And you can dream, so dream out loud, And don't let the bastards grind you down.  U2)

It happened sometime in 2008.  The exact day I cannot remember and don't really care too
This day was a day that changed my life forever.  It was not a day of great tragedy, as we understand tragedy, but rather a day when something set in to my spirit that would forever change the course of my life.  This day that I felt something leave me that remained lost for many years, and in some ways has never come back.  It was on this day that, for the first time in my life, I was unable to find God at Church.  I would go every Sunday and play guitar and talk to my friends.  I would go every Wednesday and hang out with youth kids but I never met God at that Church after that day.  I fact even now when I go visit I still feel like something is missing.  Like the God I love has no desire to interact with me in that place.

So what happened?  How did I stop experiencing God at Church?
The events that led me to this day started over a year before that day.  They started in a small community college in Minnesota in a classroom of 20 people talking about Philosophy.  For the months of that class I sat there as the only Christian and listened to the other people in the room openly blast Christians.  I could not stand up for Christians because what they were saying was not wrong.  In fact for the most part they were spot on.  For the most part when they screamed about Christians being Anti-Gay and Pro-War they were speaking the truth, sure maybe they took it a step to far or stereotyped all Christians but even still they were often right about what they were saying.

And then I would go to Church on Sunday's hoping that these Christians would prove me wrong
Hoping they would show me that Christians are not all the bad things the world thinks.  That in fact the people at this Church are better than that.  But then I would sit there as people talk about Gay people like they are so much worse than you and me.  And they would talk about being Pro-life while sitting there saying we need to go to war to protect the people of our country, America.  And as this went a long I did what I had always known how to do I put on a face.  I acted like everything was cool and I still loved Church well at the same time I told the Youth Pastor I couldn't teach any more, because I had no idea what I would say, and as I spent my free time racked with doubt about a God who's people clearly forgot to listen to the messages he was speaking.

So a few months later I moved from community college to a private Christian school
And was quickly kicked in the face with the reality that many Christians just don't know anything about the world outside the Church walls.  And in fact, even worse, many Christians just don't care.  It often seemed like the goal of these Christians was not to bring Jesus to the world but rather force the world live a Christian life (whatever that means?).  And so I went to Church on Sundays, and Wednesdays, hoping to see Christians who really cared about the world and came up empty. 

And then it happened, sometime after my summer internship and before Christmas break
It was that day when I just knew I NEVER wanted to be a Christian again.  I didn't want a damn thing to do with people who stand up and shout about abortion being wrong and then turn around and yell for America to go to war.  I no longer wanted anything to do with people who talk about the lesbian and gay community like they are the worst of sinners and never build a relationship with anyone who they believe is living a life of sin.  And it was on that day that I stop finding God in Church....

And maybe it was that day that I lost my faith in the Church and maybe even in God
But I don't think so.  I believe that was they day I lost my faith in Christians.  That was the day I lost my faith in people who claim to have a hope in Jesus but talk about how the world is falling apart or how things were better in the 50's when this was a "Christian Nation".  And sadly for me it was that day that I stopped finding God at Church.

Thankfully God has never cared much for staying in a man made building
And thankfully I was able to learn that the God I love is not a Republican, Anti-Abortion, Pro-War, Anti-Gay white male.  In fact God is indeed Anti-Sin by he is also Pro-Love.  I found out, in time, that the God I love would have loved a person long before telling them how to live their lives.  I found out, in time, that God does not see sin the same way we do.  I found out, in time, that God is Pro-life in the way that he wants EVERYONE to find life in him and therefore wants NO ONE to die before they find him, baby or warrior alike.  And I also found out, in time, that God is not worried about the would living the way he wants us to but is rather longing for us to live in relationship with him.  And, in time, I found a Church where I could meet God because I found out that God is happy to meet me where I am as I struggled with believing in the people of the Church.  And finally, in time, I learned that God will meet me when I seek him no matter where I am and no matter how much I don't want to believe in his Bride, the Church, he still loves me and tells me to love myself as his Bride.

Have you ever lost faith in Christians? God? The Church?

 

Monday, March 11, 2013

When You Need Faith Like a Child....

(And this time I don't have an answer. But don't think that I haven't tried, I still have the heart of a seeker. But I need the faith of a child, I need the faith of a child. O.C. Supertones)

So for those of you who don't know this I was once a Biblical Studies Major in college
At least that is what my major was for awhile before I ended up switching to Ministry.  Now the reason I have always told people for the switch from Bib Studies to Christian Min was because I would be able to graduate earlier, because I wouldn't have had to take 3 semesters of Greek.  And this is all very true, even if it still took me 5 years to get done with my undergrad, but that is just not the whole story.  Because if I had really wanted to be a Bib Studies major I would have gladly stayed in school a little longer because I would have been doing something I wanted to do.  But I just didn't love it.  I thought when I started school I would love studying the Bible none stop and digging deeper and deeper in to the words that I was reading.  I mean I love the Bible why would I love studying it?

Now there are a few things that turned me away from Biblical Studies, 
And a few that in time turned me away from Christian Ministry and almost to the point of leaving the Church all together. These things are things I still struggle with today and I consider myself pretty darn sold out to following my amazing savoir Jesus.  So what are these things you ask? 

First, and I would say most painfully, the Christian bubble
If you have ever gone to a Christian school there is a chance you know what I am talking about.  This bubble is the bubble that acts like everyone should be a Republican who is Anti-Abortion but yet pro-war (Someone please tell me how that works?).  This bubble sits around and talks about how "His Theology is so off base."  Or talks about everything in Christian jargon.  And the worst of all of the things that happen in this bubble is the why Christian people talk about non-Christians in judgmental tones and at like the world should live like they do.  If you still can't understand what I am talking about than you are most likely living in a Christian bubble.

Second is the fact that when you study something to much you often lose the joy
This might not be true for everyone but for me when I start to spend to much time breaking something down it just becomes so robotic, so normal, so dead.  When I spend to much time breaking it about I lose the joy of just enjoying it.  Think about it like this I love Basketball, it is by far my favorite sport, but I love watching it with other people so much more because they still see it with childish eyes.  At this point I have coached Basketball for a few years and have played it long before that and been watching it for years so now when I was Basketball by myself I spend all my time breaking down the Offensive systems and analyzing every little part of the game.  Because of this the game has lost a lot of the joy.  I now longer view it as something exciting I just view it as something to study and break down.  Now I often saw this happen when I was a Biblical studies major.  I would study the Bible all the time to the point where the last thing on my mind was to spend a little free time reading and praying.  I mean I was studying it all the time anyways so why did I need to spend more time with it?

Third arrogant views of the scripture
I often felt myself, and often saw people around me, become arrogant about views of the scripture.  Acting like we knew everything about the scripture because we knew how to study.  But this was just never true.  The scriptures are God's creation and from everything I see else where in God's creation the story just keeps on unfolding and the beauty just keeps on getting more beautiful.  So what right do we have to act like we know all the answers? 

I guess I would rather have faith like a child
I would rather feel like I enjoyed my relationship with Christ than feeling like he is just a science project.  But he had become just that to me.  He had become something I could quantify.  I could study him like I would study a math problem or a frog. But this just isn't the way I find God.  To me God is not a science project he is someone I want to get to know not something I want to study.  I so want to have faith like a child.  I want to be able to learn about God and his word not take the relationship out of it and study God like he is not a person but rather a frog to be dissected.  I want to want to run to God when I fall and cut my knee.  I want to be able to have him tuck me in to my bed at night and wake me up in the morning but simply saying "Wake up, Adam".  I want to see God as my father who I love.  I want know that God will be there when I come home no matter how far away I run.  And I want to know above all that he loves me and always will.
 I want faith like a child to carry me to my saviors side where he tells me "I love you my Son."


Do you struggle with having joy about following God?  Do you feel like you have the faith of a child still left in you?


{This will be the start of an going set of posts about my Journey's from College to today and how my faith has been shaped by these times of great doubt, joy, happiness, pain and faith.  I hope you will enjoy walking down the road of finding my faith in God that I now enjoy today.  The Journey is often the Destination so here is my Journey.}  

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Would you let me see the world behind your eyes?

Today at work I saw this large, 15 passenger, van at the gas station
No this normally is nothing to write about, I mean I see 15 packer vans all the time, I even drive them at work on most normal days. So the van was not really the thing to made me stop and think, and then write, it was things about the people and the van that struck me.  First there was the fact that there were only three people in the van, a mom and two kids, and the kids were sitting in the back on different benches.  Second, which didn't happen till we were both driving away from the gas station, I noticed that on the back of the van there were maybe 10 "Jesus Fish", which is cool with me I mean you are clearly either way into Jesus or way in to fish, but the thing that throw me for a loop was the bumper sticker that said "How much does an abortion cost?  A life." 

Okay now I get it you are trying to be pro-life and stand for what you believe in
But here's the thing.  I was offend and pissed off and I myself am pro-life but it just seems so unneeded, so offering to simply throw a bumper sticker on your car and expect that to fully cover your story and the story of the people who have had abortions.  I mean I get it abortion sucks.  It robs someone of life and causes great pain in the, would be, mother who aborts the child.  But don't for a second think that you know her story because I don't know what led her to get an abortion and I don't know what led you to have that bumper sticker on your car but I know for damn sure there is more to the story than what we know each other from a bumper sticker or a side walk outside an abortion clinic.  And I can promise you that if I, as a pro-life person, am offend by your bumper sticker than whoever has had an abortion whats to kill you when they read that sticker.

I'm sorry for this becoming a rant but I think that this is important to talk about
I guess for me I wish that the person with the 10 Ichthys' and the offensive bumper sticker would have saved the 3 dollars they spend on that sticker and the 20 bucks they spend on the Ichthys' and would have used that money to drive to an abortion clinic and comfort the women who are going through with the hardest thing they will ever do.  I wish that rather than a bumper sticker, that does no good to shine light into a dark and dying world, there would be a hand reached out to hold the hand of someone who simply needs a little love and a whole lot of grace. 

Now I know that this idea seems crazy
What could a pro-life person and a women just walking out of an abortion clinic have in common?  Simple!  They both have stories to tell.  They both have lived lives of good, bad, and ugly.  And, most importantly, they both need grace and love.

I guess for me whenever I feel like finding my way onto a soup box and yelling
I think about how much I just don't know peoples stories.  I don't know what got you to where you are.  I don't know the pain and hurt that has led you to this place.  I don't know what experience you have had with Christians and their bumper stickers.  I don't know what led you to place that bumper sticker on your car.  And I don't know the world behind your eyes.  But I do know you and me need grace and love.  We need living water.  We need a hand to hold and a shoulder to cry on.  And I know I WANT to know your story.  Because before I can say anything about you and your life I must know your story.

It seems to me that before we can tell people what they should and should not do we need to know their story
Before we stand up and tell them how to live their lives we need to get down and tell them our story.  Because I don't know about you but someone telling how to live my life just makes me resent that person and want nothing to do with them. And for sure a bumper sticker has never made me think "Oh man I should stop doing sinful things!" Or even for that matter "Oh I should vote for that person".

I guess the way I see it we, as Christians, have made things more complicated than need be
I think we have become to worried about evangelism models and far to worried about getting people to live "Christian lives" (whatever that means?).  I guess when I look at Jesus' life here on earth the way he led people to himself was to simply say "Follow me" and I guess we should follow his lead.  Rather than spending money on bumper stickers and shouting about how to live a life we should live amazing, on fire, alive, lives and say to people "Follow me to my Savoir."  We should learn peoples stories and tell our own and allow people the chance to see that our lives with Jesus are great and worth living and that they should join us.  We should stop trying to make the world live like us and do our best to be salt and light.  We should find the story behind peoples eyes before we tell them how to live.  And we should show love and grace in every situation.

Where do you struggle most with ungrace?  What have you seen lately that bugs you about some Christians? 

 

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Feminism.... because of my daughter

The reason Feminism matters as I see it is because of my daughter
Now before you say "yeah, that's what every father should say" you should understand that I am not married, don't have a daughter, in fact I don't even have a girlfriend.  But to me feminism matters because if I, some day, have a daughter I want her to be able to have a life of equality.  I want her to make as much money as the man doing the same job as her.  I want her to have a voice that carries over the men in the world who are trying to keep her voice quiet.  I want her to know that she is more than a good looking object that is to be below a man who knows better.  It matters to me because I know as a father I would kill anyone who treated my daughter as an object.

But more then that I want my daughter to be able to know and understand she is an equal
I want her to know that without the many women in the Bible we would have no hope for tomorrow. And I want her to understand that yes Easter and Ruth and Deborah played huge parts in God's plans but I also want her to understand that there are other important women in scripture.  Women like Mary and Martha.  I want her to understand that Jesus could be considered the first great male feminist as he used those two women, Mary and Martha, to find his empty grave and show the men that he was alive again.  I want her to be able to understand that Jesus views her and loves her as an equal. I want her to know that when Peter denied Jesus three times and was no where to be found at the cross there stood four women weeping at the death of Jesus {1}  And most importantly I want her to see herself as an equal to any one, not above or below.

So then what is at stake?  Everything!
Everything is at stake to me.  Because without equal rights for women we are missing the point of the Bible.  Without equal rights I feel we are missing out on hearing voices that must be heard.  Without equal rights for women how can we as Christians ever talk about equal rights for all races when we can't fight for the rights of people in our race of origin.  Without equal rights for women my daughter may never dream of being president.

The reason why I am a Feminist is because before I was alive someone died for my equal rights
Before I was Jesus died to make Jew and Gentile equal.  He broke the old law that kept someone like myself, a Gentile, separated from God.  Jesus died in order to make equal rights possible for me and called me to follow him to the cross and fight for equal rights.

So for my daughter I want you to know you are loved
I want you to know you are equal to any man and that your voice needs to be heard because you have something amazing to say. I want you to know that you are greatly loved.  I want you to know that no matter what the TV tells you you are more than your body.  I want you to know that there will be people who try to silence your voice because they fear what you have to say.  I want you to know that you should never stop speaking up, never stop being who you are.  Never bow under the foot of someone who views you as less than themselves.  I want you to know that you are loved by the maker of all things and he sees you as equal to any man.  And finally I want you to know that I love you enough to die for you because when my time comes to leave this earth I want your voice to be able to be heard on an equal playing field.  So to my, future, daughter I long to see you look back and me with the confidence to go change the world and with a love that asks for nothing back.  I love you.

(This post is part of #Femfest a three day blog conversation about feminism.  I hope you enjoyed it and here is the link to the link up that will lead you to much more reading.  Enjoy.  http://www.fromtwotoone.com/2013/02/femfest-day-two.html)

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Its in the way you move....

I find myself often in what I would call the desert or valleys of the soul
I'm sure you know these moments as well.  The moments when everything you normally love and enjoy does nothing to make you feel alive, at it times it makes you feel even worse.  The moments when no matter how much you try to get a hold of God he seems to be miles away and avoiding answering his cell phone.  I had one of these just a few weeks back.

I would be at work trying to hear from God the whole day
I would come home and listen to worship music and read my Bible and do all the things that a "good Christian" is suppose to do in order to encounter God.  But yet God seems to stay far off.  As I run from one random activity, who's goal is to encounter God, he seems to run away from me as I seek to find him in the places that "good Christians" are meant to find God.  As I do the religions things that are meant to lead me to God I find that God often stays far off.

So let me tell you about a time like this when God seemed far off
It was a Monday morning, a time of great darkness anyways, and I was struggling with what God's will was for my life.  I remember being at work feeling like all I wanted to do was go back to bed.  I remember cleaning a car, because that's what I do, and at one point yelling at  God "What the F*** are you doing with my life???" because I was so lost as to what God's will was for my life.  I remember feeling pretty close at times to quitting my job, dropping out of school and running away to be a sailor.  (I have no desire to ever be a sailor, just using that to make a point.)  I remember this lasted till Wednesday evening.  I tried and tried to find God in all the "right" places.  I sat through Wednesday Morning prayer with four other, awesome, Christian men praying all the right things and all that Jazz.  I read my Bible and prayed non-stop.

But the way I finally experienced God was in the place no "good Christian" wants to be
It was in the place that many Churches today will speak messages about how to avoid this place.  A place that I try to find my way out of as fast as possible.  This place is at the hottest, driest, most barren place in that desert of the soul.  And even worse than that it was in the place where I sat down and give up.  I turned away from God.  I said "God, I am broke and undeserving of you at so I am leaving you."  It was in that moment when I heard God speak for the first time in days.  It was in that moment when Aslan breathed new life into my bones.  It was in that moment that, if only for a moment, I knew that Jesus was sitting on the couch next time me saying "Adam, You are greatly loved and I never left you I was simply waiting for you to stop talking and working and doing more stuff and sit down next to me in this desert".And this is when I figured something out about God or at the very least the way I experience God. 

I have figured out that meeting God is not about what I do or say
It isn't about being a "good Christian".  Or listening to great worship music.  Or praying the right prayer.  Or even going to Church.  Meeting God is, often, not about mountain top experiences and conferences meant to show us steps to a happy Christian life.  Its not about any of these things. Experiencing God is about something much simpler.

Its about the way he moves..
Experiencing God is in the way he moves
Its in the way he holds my heart
Its in the way he speaks to me gently
Its in the way he holds my hand
Its in the way he lets me yell at him
Its in the way he allows me time to find my way to the ground
Its in the way he bends down to the ground to speak to me
Its in the way he walks through the desert for 40 days or 40 years to tell me I am loved
Its in the way he speaks as all hope is lost
Its in the way he walk through the pain with me
Its in the way he says I love you
Its in the way he is all at once next to me whispering in my ear
Its in the way he is all at once silent
Its in the way he listens to every word I say
Its in the way he needs only say a few words
Its in the way he speaks and I know it was him
Its in the way he waits for me to slow down
Its in the way he doesn't allow me to avoid pain
Its in the way he says not what I want to hear but what I need to hear
Its in the way he could shout over it all
Its in the way he doesn't shout but whispers
Its in the way he waits for me to find a place of intimacy and openness
Its in the way he carriers Living Water to me when I am in deepest need
Its in the way he knows my name
Its in the way he knows my deepest, darkest, secrets and yet still loves me
Its in the way he wants a relationship with me not a religion
Its in the way he says I LOVE you
Its in the way he sets me back on my feet
Its in the way he says follow me
Its in the way he says I LOVE YOU

Experiencing a relationship with God is never about doing the right thing
Experiencing a relationship with God is about sitting down with him until he tells you to get up and follow him.  A relationship with God is about intimacy and moments of brokenness.  A relationship with God is about giving up the idea of being a "good Christian" and just laying down next to an amazing Savior until he tells you to get up and follow him.  Experiencing a relationship with God is about living out a relationship not a set of rights and wrongs.

How do you find God speaking to you?  Does it ever seem like God speaks to you when all hope is lost?