Feminism is a word I think we think we know what it means
At least in my mind the first thing that comes to my mind when I hear the word feminism is women living there lives in a way that basically says "I am better than men and don't need a man, or any man, in my life". Now this clearly is a very misguided viewpoint of feminism. But even still this is what I think of when I see the word feminism. And because of this view point I want nothing to do with that mindset. I want nothing to do with a group of women who live their lives like they are better than any man and that the world would be better without men.
But here is the problem That Is Not FEMINISM
Feminism at its core fights for women to be heard. It fights for women to be equal, not above or below. It fights for women to be able to do what makes them come alive. Feminism fights not for a world without men but fights for a world where women are on a level playing field with men. Feminism at its core is equal rights.
One of the saddest conversations I had recently was with a friend of mine
Who happens to be a women. The words she said are stuck deep in my brain as she said "You will never find a less feminist women than me." Wait what? You don't want women to be equal and have a voice to speak as loudly and as often as any man? You want women to be in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant at all times? If that is the case I think you missed both the point of feminism and have been miss reading parts of the Bible.
Now I get it we all have bad thoughts about good things sometimes
I admit I sometimes have a hard time with Black History month and I consider that one of the greatest months of the year. But we can't let our negative view of a word stop us from living out the truth that is behind the word. Feminism's goal is equality and I believe in equality and because I believe in equality I must believe in Feminism even when I don't want to be associated with the word that has become something totally different than what it was meant to be.
Feminism to me is like the word Christian
Follow me on this for a second. Christian and Christianity have a lot of bad viewpoints and thoughts about them. Christians are often thought of us gay hating, judgmental begets. And Christianity is often viewed as the thing behind the Crusades and the whole thing with the Catholic Church and child abuse. But at the end of the day even if I don't want to be labeled as a Christian there is just no way to better describe my beliefs. Because at the end of the day my goal is to be a Little Christ, which is the true meaning behind the word Christian. And there is the thing about feminism. Is no matter how hard I try there is just not a better way to describe the way that I want to fight for women's rights than to call me self a feminist. Because at the end of the day I believe in fighting for equal rights for everyone because that is what I believe my Savoir, Jesus, would want.
So even though I don't want to be a feminist
Because the word has lost its true meaning in many ways but my goal is equal rights and an equal voice for both male and female and as such I, Adam Nash, am a Feminist even when I don't want to be.
(This post is a post in the three day syncroblog called Femimisms Fest. Here are the links to join in the conversation. Enjoy. http://www.fromtwotoone.com/2013/02/announcing-feminisms-fest-synchroblog.html And here is the other one. http://loveiswhatyoudo.com/2013/02/26/feminisms-and-me-femfest-link-up-day-1/)
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Sunday, February 24, 2013
I'm a Desert Soul....
(All that I am is dry bones
Without You Lord, a desert soul.... Rend Collective Experiment)
I've never really spent time in a desert, I mean I grew up in Minnesota
And now live in Michigan, neither place is a desert. But I can take a guess that a desert is a place that I don't want to be, why do people move to Arizona again? I mean most deserts are hot and have no rain at all and therefore little or no water. But the even crazier part about a desert, a hot desert anyways, is that when it does rain it doesn't really do anything to help the dryness of the desert. In fact it gets worse because when rain does comes to a desert the water runs down the hills and cracks in the desert so fast that it is so dangerous that if you are in a desert when it rains you my very well die of drowning because the ground is so parched that it cannot absorb the water fast enough to do any thing to stop the water from running away. The ground simply cannot handle the water because it has become so use to being dry.
I guess sometimes I feel like a desert
Sometimes no matter how much time I spend praying or reading my Bible or writing I just can't seem to feel anything other than parched. As much rain as I can put into my life it just never seems to do anything but run right over me like a desert. And here is where I'm gonna say something that seems strange even to me. But yet is the only thing that ever works. At that is simply that sometimes I need to stop trying to drink more and more and just sit down and little the living water come a heal my soul. I mean I guess sometimes God just wants us to sit down in the desert and wait for him to bring us a class of water. Sometimes he wants me to stop walking toward the edge of the desert and just be happy where I am trusting that he's gonna give me Living Water rather then a down pour that kills my soul. I guess this thought is still a work in progress but I'm thinking that for now God is telling me to be okay with trusting that he will give me what I need rather than me trying so hard to find out what tomorrow brings I just need to be content with where God has me right now. So here is to finding Living Water in a desert of sand.
What do you do when you feel like a desert soul?
Without You Lord, a desert soul.... Rend Collective Experiment)
I've never really spent time in a desert, I mean I grew up in Minnesota
And now live in Michigan, neither place is a desert. But I can take a guess that a desert is a place that I don't want to be, why do people move to Arizona again? I mean most deserts are hot and have no rain at all and therefore little or no water. But the even crazier part about a desert, a hot desert anyways, is that when it does rain it doesn't really do anything to help the dryness of the desert. In fact it gets worse because when rain does comes to a desert the water runs down the hills and cracks in the desert so fast that it is so dangerous that if you are in a desert when it rains you my very well die of drowning because the ground is so parched that it cannot absorb the water fast enough to do any thing to stop the water from running away. The ground simply cannot handle the water because it has become so use to being dry.
I guess sometimes I feel like a desert
Sometimes no matter how much time I spend praying or reading my Bible or writing I just can't seem to feel anything other than parched. As much rain as I can put into my life it just never seems to do anything but run right over me like a desert. And here is where I'm gonna say something that seems strange even to me. But yet is the only thing that ever works. At that is simply that sometimes I need to stop trying to drink more and more and just sit down and little the living water come a heal my soul. I mean I guess sometimes God just wants us to sit down in the desert and wait for him to bring us a class of water. Sometimes he wants me to stop walking toward the edge of the desert and just be happy where I am trusting that he's gonna give me Living Water rather then a down pour that kills my soul. I guess this thought is still a work in progress but I'm thinking that for now God is telling me to be okay with trusting that he will give me what I need rather than me trying so hard to find out what tomorrow brings I just need to be content with where God has me right now. So here is to finding Living Water in a desert of sand.
What do you do when you feel like a desert soul?
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Whats Your Story???
What is your story? What would you tell to a friend about your journey over the last few months or years?
How are you seeing God work in your life? How do you feel lost? How do you feel found? What is the thing(s) in life right now that define you? What is your story?
Here is mine
It will only scratch the surface of my life and even if I had all the time in the world and a book deal I would struggle with what to write. This story does not have an ending, in fact it seems farther from even having a clear flow at the moment then it ever has. Today this story seem more complicated and more confusing than it ever has but it is the story that I will tell and at some point in life I am sure it will have a chapter ending but for now it is in the middle of a chapter I can not see the end of yet, oh how I wish I could skip a head and see the chapter break but for now I am taking it one word at a time. So here we go.
January 2012 I sit in my bed room in my parents house
I am on the phone talking to my brother, like we did from time to time back then. We are talking about the normal everyday stuff, you know Basketball and how great his church is, when he gets a more serious tone and says "Hey so you know I am just about to buy a house and I am looking for a roommate and after all this praying and talking to people I can only think of one person that I would want to be my roommate and that is you." To which I think "I'm not moving anywhere near Detroit! I want the west coast not Detroit, God!"
February 2012, Superbowl Sunday, at half time we talk again.
A few weeks later he comes in town for our friends wedding and I am still thinking "Josh I just don't think its happening, I mean I am doing great things here and I feel God at work in my life right here."
Then comes April when I come out to Detroit to visit looking for God to send some kind of crazy sign that he wants me here. But rather then that I just end up driving home, with nothing crazy having happened, knowing the whole way home that I will soon be moving to Detroit.
Now fast forward to now
At the moment I sit in a coffee shop in Famington Michigan a few miles away from Detroit and Redford the place I now call home. In the time since April I have moved to a new state, started a different job, started grad school, had my heart broken, considered dropping out of grad school, considered moving back to Minnesota and struggled with what the hell God is doing with my life and why he has me here in Michigan for this time.
But you want to know the crazy part?
There is one way that I can explain what I feel about what God has been showing me. One thought that keeps coming back to me. One thing I cannot shake from my mind. It is this simple thought "Trust the Storyteller". Every time I am in a place of doubt, every time I want to say "God I am done trusting you, I'm doing this on my own!" He simply says to me "Adam, Trust the Storyteller". All God wants from me right now is to trust him that he is writing this chapter, the paragraph, this sentence, the next word.... He isn't asking me to think about tomorrow, or worry about the next chapter, he simply wants me here right now. He wants me to learn to trust him, the Storyteller, to bring this chapter of my life to the place he wants it to be.
Think about it like this....
Could anyone other than J.R.R. Tolkien have wrote the Lord of the Rings? Could anyone other the J.K. Rowling have done Harry Potter? Can any author other then C.S. Lewis have written The Chronicles of Narnia? I would say the answer is, a resounding, NO! So then the great question, for me personally, is why do I keep trying so hard to write My Story when only the Storyteller, God, can write my story? I guess that is the way I try to see it is that my story is in the hands of the only person who can write my story. And if right now I don't have any idea where its going then I just need to hold on tight and trust the Storyteller to get me to a chapter break alive, and I know he will because I don't think my story has come to an end yet!
How are you seeing God work in your life? How do you feel lost? How do you feel found? What is the thing(s) in life right now that define you? What is your story?
Here is mine
It will only scratch the surface of my life and even if I had all the time in the world and a book deal I would struggle with what to write. This story does not have an ending, in fact it seems farther from even having a clear flow at the moment then it ever has. Today this story seem more complicated and more confusing than it ever has but it is the story that I will tell and at some point in life I am sure it will have a chapter ending but for now it is in the middle of a chapter I can not see the end of yet, oh how I wish I could skip a head and see the chapter break but for now I am taking it one word at a time. So here we go.
January 2012 I sit in my bed room in my parents house
I am on the phone talking to my brother, like we did from time to time back then. We are talking about the normal everyday stuff, you know Basketball and how great his church is, when he gets a more serious tone and says "Hey so you know I am just about to buy a house and I am looking for a roommate and after all this praying and talking to people I can only think of one person that I would want to be my roommate and that is you." To which I think "I'm not moving anywhere near Detroit! I want the west coast not Detroit, God!"
February 2012, Superbowl Sunday, at half time we talk again.
A few weeks later he comes in town for our friends wedding and I am still thinking "Josh I just don't think its happening, I mean I am doing great things here and I feel God at work in my life right here."
Then comes April when I come out to Detroit to visit looking for God to send some kind of crazy sign that he wants me here. But rather then that I just end up driving home, with nothing crazy having happened, knowing the whole way home that I will soon be moving to Detroit.
Now fast forward to now
At the moment I sit in a coffee shop in Famington Michigan a few miles away from Detroit and Redford the place I now call home. In the time since April I have moved to a new state, started a different job, started grad school, had my heart broken, considered dropping out of grad school, considered moving back to Minnesota and struggled with what the hell God is doing with my life and why he has me here in Michigan for this time.
But you want to know the crazy part?
There is one way that I can explain what I feel about what God has been showing me. One thought that keeps coming back to me. One thing I cannot shake from my mind. It is this simple thought "Trust the Storyteller". Every time I am in a place of doubt, every time I want to say "God I am done trusting you, I'm doing this on my own!" He simply says to me "Adam, Trust the Storyteller". All God wants from me right now is to trust him that he is writing this chapter, the paragraph, this sentence, the next word.... He isn't asking me to think about tomorrow, or worry about the next chapter, he simply wants me here right now. He wants me to learn to trust him, the Storyteller, to bring this chapter of my life to the place he wants it to be.
Think about it like this....
Could anyone other than J.R.R. Tolkien have wrote the Lord of the Rings? Could anyone other the J.K. Rowling have done Harry Potter? Can any author other then C.S. Lewis have written The Chronicles of Narnia? I would say the answer is, a resounding, NO! So then the great question, for me personally, is why do I keep trying so hard to write My Story when only the Storyteller, God, can write my story? I guess that is the way I try to see it is that my story is in the hands of the only person who can write my story. And if right now I don't have any idea where its going then I just need to hold on tight and trust the Storyteller to get me to a chapter break alive, and I know he will because I don't think my story has come to an end yet!
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Life is an Adventure.....
Have you ever been climbing?
I mean like really climbing not walking up the side of the hill, that is often called 'scrambling' or maybe I'm the only one who calls it that, but really climbing. Like if you were to fall with out a rope and harness you would have a fun fall to the ground before breaking your legs or maybe dying? If you've ever gone climbing you will understand this, if not I'll explain it! As best I can because I haven't gone much in my life.
Climbing is hard work, really hard work.
In fact in many ways climbing sucks! When you get done climbing a wall, or as they are called in climbing a 'problem', you are truly spent. Your hands and wrists are sore and you feel beat up... but you also feel like you are on top of the world because you have done something amazing. You have climbed to the top and made it through all the pain and problems that come with climbing.
Now I have only ever climbed inside, in a very safe place where short of stupidity or disaster I was not going to die or even break a bone.
But that isn't real climbing and even if I was outside its still not the craziest climbing style. There is a form of climbing where you climb up mountains for days in freezing cold temps well you sleep on the side of the mountain in a tent hanging hundreds if not thousands of feet off the ground. And if that is not crazy enough you are always on the edge of death. And yet you press on toward the top because that is where you missions goal lies.
I guess I think the craziest thing about a sport like climbing is how much of it is no fun
I mean you spend days and days on the edge of death just to reach the top for a few minutes of great joy. You have to work so hard just to get a few minutes where you are on top of the world. And then even when you get there you have a few day trip back down to earth. Where once again you walk on the edge of death.
So I guess the way I see it is this is a great example of our lives with Jesus
We seem to want to spend all our time on the mountain top these days with conferences and worship services and what not trying their darnedest to keep us on that freaking mountain top. Its like everything about Christianity in America is trying to keep us on this crazy emotional high that is just not reality. Because what the hell would be the point of a mountain top if you didn't climb anything?
I guess to me it seems like God wants us to spend less time trying to stay on the Mountain top
Dare I say I think God is tired of us acting like its possible to stay on that one mountain top. He's tired of us thinking that the goal of living with him is to stay on said mountain top. It seems like God is calling us all to live and adventure not a safe existence on a mountain top. It seems like he is calling us to a higher mountain top than the one we are fighting so hard to stay firmly planted on.
In a great adventure there are ups and downs. There are hard times and good times
But yet we often want only the good times. Here is another way to think about it. If you are a caffeine user, like myself, then you know that the more caffeine you drink daily the less effective it is at keeping you awake. The reason for this is that your brain stops producing the chemicals that keep you awake and the more you drink caffeine the less of these chemicals your brain produces. So you become dependent on caffeine to keep you awake because your brain forgot how to do it. This is the same thing that happens to people who are taking much stronger drugs. But when you take stronger drugs you get to the point where you brain stops making the chemicals that bring you happiness and joy and so you are stuck having to keep using in order to find happiness.
But yet this is how we want to live
Even though God calls us to live a life that climbs one mountain and then heads down to climb another we still just want to stay on mountain top number one, even as we look out and see there are more mountains to climb. Again it seems to me like God is calling us to live an Adventure. An adventure with ups and downs. Pain, heartache, and joy. Because God wants us to understand that he is faithful and will carry us up greater mountains than the one we find ourselves on now.
In adventure, as in life, it seems like 90% of it is hard as hell and painful as can be
But if we don't have valleys how can we ever understand how great the mountain top is? If there is no work to get to the top than what is the point? If we are never struggling through the hells of life than how can we ever understand Gods faithfulness? If we are at the top than why do we need God?
I guess to me Life is an Adventure.... Get out and start living it!
Start climbing another mountain. Start living on the edge. Because God is tired of us sitting on our hands trying to stay safe. So here's to Adventure!
What adventure is God calling you to? Is he simply calling you off a mountain and on to a greater adventure?
I mean like really climbing not walking up the side of the hill, that is often called 'scrambling' or maybe I'm the only one who calls it that, but really climbing. Like if you were to fall with out a rope and harness you would have a fun fall to the ground before breaking your legs or maybe dying? If you've ever gone climbing you will understand this, if not I'll explain it! As best I can because I haven't gone much in my life.
Climbing is hard work, really hard work.
In fact in many ways climbing sucks! When you get done climbing a wall, or as they are called in climbing a 'problem', you are truly spent. Your hands and wrists are sore and you feel beat up... but you also feel like you are on top of the world because you have done something amazing. You have climbed to the top and made it through all the pain and problems that come with climbing.
Now I have only ever climbed inside, in a very safe place where short of stupidity or disaster I was not going to die or even break a bone.
But that isn't real climbing and even if I was outside its still not the craziest climbing style. There is a form of climbing where you climb up mountains for days in freezing cold temps well you sleep on the side of the mountain in a tent hanging hundreds if not thousands of feet off the ground. And if that is not crazy enough you are always on the edge of death. And yet you press on toward the top because that is where you missions goal lies.
I guess I think the craziest thing about a sport like climbing is how much of it is no fun
I mean you spend days and days on the edge of death just to reach the top for a few minutes of great joy. You have to work so hard just to get a few minutes where you are on top of the world. And then even when you get there you have a few day trip back down to earth. Where once again you walk on the edge of death.
So I guess the way I see it is this is a great example of our lives with Jesus
We seem to want to spend all our time on the mountain top these days with conferences and worship services and what not trying their darnedest to keep us on that freaking mountain top. Its like everything about Christianity in America is trying to keep us on this crazy emotional high that is just not reality. Because what the hell would be the point of a mountain top if you didn't climb anything?
I guess to me it seems like God wants us to spend less time trying to stay on the Mountain top
Dare I say I think God is tired of us acting like its possible to stay on that one mountain top. He's tired of us thinking that the goal of living with him is to stay on said mountain top. It seems like God is calling us all to live and adventure not a safe existence on a mountain top. It seems like he is calling us to a higher mountain top than the one we are fighting so hard to stay firmly planted on.
In a great adventure there are ups and downs. There are hard times and good times
But yet we often want only the good times. Here is another way to think about it. If you are a caffeine user, like myself, then you know that the more caffeine you drink daily the less effective it is at keeping you awake. The reason for this is that your brain stops producing the chemicals that keep you awake and the more you drink caffeine the less of these chemicals your brain produces. So you become dependent on caffeine to keep you awake because your brain forgot how to do it. This is the same thing that happens to people who are taking much stronger drugs. But when you take stronger drugs you get to the point where you brain stops making the chemicals that bring you happiness and joy and so you are stuck having to keep using in order to find happiness.
But yet this is how we want to live
Even though God calls us to live a life that climbs one mountain and then heads down to climb another we still just want to stay on mountain top number one, even as we look out and see there are more mountains to climb. Again it seems to me like God is calling us to live an Adventure. An adventure with ups and downs. Pain, heartache, and joy. Because God wants us to understand that he is faithful and will carry us up greater mountains than the one we find ourselves on now.
In adventure, as in life, it seems like 90% of it is hard as hell and painful as can be
But if we don't have valleys how can we ever understand how great the mountain top is? If there is no work to get to the top than what is the point? If we are never struggling through the hells of life than how can we ever understand Gods faithfulness? If we are at the top than why do we need God?
I guess to me Life is an Adventure.... Get out and start living it!
Start climbing another mountain. Start living on the edge. Because God is tired of us sitting on our hands trying to stay safe. So here's to Adventure!
What adventure is God calling you to? Is he simply calling you off a mountain and on to a greater adventure?
Monday, February 4, 2013
Thoughts on American Culture... Or Thoughts on the Superbowl
Yesterday was the day I have started to call "The Fattest day on earth"
Also known as Superbowl Sunday. This is the day when all of America has a reason to eat tons of fattening snack food and pizza and Taco Bell and.... etc. all in the name of watching a sporting event that, I would guess, less the 50 percent of the people at, any given, party really care about. I know that I spent 90% of the game playing card games and chess. In fact I was so disinterested in the game that I did not know about the 'blackout' until the game was seconds away from starting again.
But I still looked up from Cards enough times to find a few things out about America
I already knew these things but this just drove the nail that much deeper in to the board. I would guess that if you watched the game you noticed these things too because I only looked up here and there and these thoughts were driven so deep into my brain I my never get them out. Even worst they were seen in so many places though out the night that you could never over look them.
1. Objectification is in vogue.
Never in my life have I fully processed how much the world tries to devalue people. The crazy thing about this is that everyone is up for some objectification and devaluing, it doesn't matter how famous you are you are not safe from being devalued. And heaven forbid if you are good looking because if you are than the only thing you are good for is your body. If you don't believe that this message was being sent then I invite you to go watch the Go Daddy add with Bar Rafaeli or if the simple objectification is already so firmly planted in you brain go watch the Samsung add about the next thing which involves two famous people talking like fools and then they find out that there is a bigger "next big thing" and his name is Lebron James....
2. Budweiser will use ANY means to sell a few more beers
And cue Budweiser house add! I mean come on! Its cute and all but you are selling beer?!?!?! Crappy beer at that and you will go to the point of trying to make people cry in order to sell beer? Way to go Budweiser you will win add of the year awards by being the first beer company to make people cry.
3. People will hate you just because they want to hate you
Last night Beyonce was the half time show. And as much as I don't really like her music I can at least see she has talent. I mean anyone who can sing that well and dance that well not long after having a child is something special. But yet people were more than willing to hate Beyonce for no real reason. I mean sure she could have had more clothes on or she could have done less 'sexual' dances but the lady song beautifully and she did what any good half time show does she had you watching. Even if you hate her you, yes you, were watching.
So whats the point of me writing this?
I guess the reason I write this is because as I sat around "watching" the game I was struck by how much the messages of the adds and half time show were running in the opposite direction of what God calls us to live out. I guess that is really the whole thought. We are called to live here on earth in a way that is Counter-Cultural. We are called to Love people even when we may not like them. We are called not to sell God by any means but rather to Follow Him. And we are for sure called to value people more than Culture today values anyone.
So lets go and find a way to live Counter-Cultural lives.....
Also known as Superbowl Sunday. This is the day when all of America has a reason to eat tons of fattening snack food and pizza and Taco Bell and.... etc. all in the name of watching a sporting event that, I would guess, less the 50 percent of the people at, any given, party really care about. I know that I spent 90% of the game playing card games and chess. In fact I was so disinterested in the game that I did not know about the 'blackout' until the game was seconds away from starting again.
But I still looked up from Cards enough times to find a few things out about America
I already knew these things but this just drove the nail that much deeper in to the board. I would guess that if you watched the game you noticed these things too because I only looked up here and there and these thoughts were driven so deep into my brain I my never get them out. Even worst they were seen in so many places though out the night that you could never over look them.
1. Objectification is in vogue.
Never in my life have I fully processed how much the world tries to devalue people. The crazy thing about this is that everyone is up for some objectification and devaluing, it doesn't matter how famous you are you are not safe from being devalued. And heaven forbid if you are good looking because if you are than the only thing you are good for is your body. If you don't believe that this message was being sent then I invite you to go watch the Go Daddy add with Bar Rafaeli or if the simple objectification is already so firmly planted in you brain go watch the Samsung add about the next thing which involves two famous people talking like fools and then they find out that there is a bigger "next big thing" and his name is Lebron James....
2. Budweiser will use ANY means to sell a few more beers
And cue Budweiser house add! I mean come on! Its cute and all but you are selling beer?!?!?! Crappy beer at that and you will go to the point of trying to make people cry in order to sell beer? Way to go Budweiser you will win add of the year awards by being the first beer company to make people cry.
3. People will hate you just because they want to hate you
Last night Beyonce was the half time show. And as much as I don't really like her music I can at least see she has talent. I mean anyone who can sing that well and dance that well not long after having a child is something special. But yet people were more than willing to hate Beyonce for no real reason. I mean sure she could have had more clothes on or she could have done less 'sexual' dances but the lady song beautifully and she did what any good half time show does she had you watching. Even if you hate her you, yes you, were watching.
So whats the point of me writing this?
I guess the reason I write this is because as I sat around "watching" the game I was struck by how much the messages of the adds and half time show were running in the opposite direction of what God calls us to live out. I guess that is really the whole thought. We are called to live here on earth in a way that is Counter-Cultural. We are called to Love people even when we may not like them. We are called not to sell God by any means but rather to Follow Him. And we are for sure called to value people more than Culture today values anyone.
So lets go and find a way to live Counter-Cultural lives.....
Sunday, February 3, 2013
What Defines you?
I am a rather tall person
For those of you who either don't know me or just haven't been paying attention I am tall. At 6 foot 4 inches I am taller than something like 92 percent of the population of the world. And as such it is not uncommon for random, and I mean truly random people like kids at Wal-Mart or People at Church that I've yet to have a conversation with will simply blurt out, before anything else is said, "You're really tall!" So at this point in my life hearing this is so common place that I will simply say "Yes. I am" and move on like nothing out of the ordinary happened. Now I could easily say that being tall is something that defines me, and to many people this is a way to define me. I mean I am indeed tall. But it is rare that I think of my height as something special or even allow it to define me; in fact I often wish I was shorter because than I would be able to have an easier time relating to younger kids (They are often scared of me because I am so tall) and wouldn't have to deal with the "Oh you're tall can you get this down for me?" All the time, I mean I am happy to help but it gets old because I never get to ask someone shorter than me "Hey you're short can you get this for me?"
So in my life I have learned to not define myself by my height
I have learned to, unless as a joke, not use my height as something that makes me special or set apart. But yet the question still lingers 'What defines you?' Am I defined by the fact that I am a musician? Am I defined by the fact that I am in grad school? Or that I am a writer (want to be)? Am I defined by my job? Or where I live? Or by my relationship status? Or even by my actions and the way I show love?
I guess I think that if I were to be defined by anything in my life I know what I want it to be
I want to be defined by how the person who loves me most sees me. I want the greatest love of my life to be the person who defines me. I want nothing else to matter when it comes to defining who I am because when I come to that person, the one who loves me most, I know that they will see me as I am. Well everyone else will only see my actions or things that I do but not who I am.
This brings me once again to saying that if there is one way I want to be defined
The thing that I want to define my relationships is this simple and amazing fact. A thought that we often forget or simply take for granted. If I could be defined by only one thing it would be this fact.
I am the one Jesus Loves
Did you read that? You and me we are the people Jesus loves. The people that God became flesh loved enough to die a criminals death for. You are the person that Jesus loves. That thought alone should both rock your world a new every day and hold the world on its axis. That thought alone is what should define me because if my whole world crashes in to the sea and I'm left with nothing. If my talents fail and I can no longer work or go to school or write than after all of that I will still be loved by Jesus.
Think about the way my life, and yours, would change if this thought alone defined our lives?
Think how much easier it would be to love those people who are mean to you if what they say does not affect your identity? Think about how the world would change if we walked in the confidence that are lives our not defined by anything other than God's love? If we did not define ourselves by where we live or who we voted for but rather lived our lives as people defined only by God's love?
So what defines you? Is it the stuff in your life or the love of God?
For those of you who either don't know me or just haven't been paying attention I am tall. At 6 foot 4 inches I am taller than something like 92 percent of the population of the world. And as such it is not uncommon for random, and I mean truly random people like kids at Wal-Mart or People at Church that I've yet to have a conversation with will simply blurt out, before anything else is said, "You're really tall!" So at this point in my life hearing this is so common place that I will simply say "Yes. I am" and move on like nothing out of the ordinary happened. Now I could easily say that being tall is something that defines me, and to many people this is a way to define me. I mean I am indeed tall. But it is rare that I think of my height as something special or even allow it to define me; in fact I often wish I was shorter because than I would be able to have an easier time relating to younger kids (They are often scared of me because I am so tall) and wouldn't have to deal with the "Oh you're tall can you get this down for me?" All the time, I mean I am happy to help but it gets old because I never get to ask someone shorter than me "Hey you're short can you get this for me?"
So in my life I have learned to not define myself by my height
I have learned to, unless as a joke, not use my height as something that makes me special or set apart. But yet the question still lingers 'What defines you?' Am I defined by the fact that I am a musician? Am I defined by the fact that I am in grad school? Or that I am a writer (want to be)? Am I defined by my job? Or where I live? Or by my relationship status? Or even by my actions and the way I show love?
I guess I think that if I were to be defined by anything in my life I know what I want it to be
I want to be defined by how the person who loves me most sees me. I want the greatest love of my life to be the person who defines me. I want nothing else to matter when it comes to defining who I am because when I come to that person, the one who loves me most, I know that they will see me as I am. Well everyone else will only see my actions or things that I do but not who I am.
This brings me once again to saying that if there is one way I want to be defined
The thing that I want to define my relationships is this simple and amazing fact. A thought that we often forget or simply take for granted. If I could be defined by only one thing it would be this fact.
I am the one Jesus Loves
Did you read that? You and me we are the people Jesus loves. The people that God became flesh loved enough to die a criminals death for. You are the person that Jesus loves. That thought alone should both rock your world a new every day and hold the world on its axis. That thought alone is what should define me because if my whole world crashes in to the sea and I'm left with nothing. If my talents fail and I can no longer work or go to school or write than after all of that I will still be loved by Jesus.
Think about the way my life, and yours, would change if this thought alone defined our lives?
Think how much easier it would be to love those people who are mean to you if what they say does not affect your identity? Think about how the world would change if we walked in the confidence that are lives our not defined by anything other than God's love? If we did not define ourselves by where we live or who we voted for but rather lived our lives as people defined only by God's love?
So what defines you? Is it the stuff in your life or the love of God?
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
The Church and Relationships Bug me!
[This is the third post in what ended up becoming a series, even though I never planned no writing a series of any kind.... but here it is, hopefully the last post in the series of things that Bug Me About Relationships. Here is the first one And here is number two.... Enjoy!]
The way Churches deal with relationships annoys me
I mean really annoys me. To the point where, as a single guy, I at times considered walking away from the Church just because of this one issue. It makes me want so badly to walk away from the Church because I can't stand having to deal with this issue.
Now don't get me wrong
Not every Church is as bad at this as some. My Church today does a much better job of this than Churches I have gone to in the past but still this issue is present. Like a sickness that is often missed or simply ignored. It sits there just under our noses, begging to be understood and fixed but sitting there like nothing is happening.
The problem lies in the fact that we now view it as normal
Or maybe even worse we view it as right. We think that there is nothing abnormal about this view point of relationships. I mean why would we? The Church, our go to for relationship advice, has been selling this view point since we graduated from High School and got to the age when getting married was possible. So of course us Church goes have taken this view of relationships hook, line, AND sinker!
The view point is simple, and even if you're never thought of it this way its the truth
It simply says if you are single you have nothing to offer to married people because you just don't understand and they have moved past the point in their lives where you are able to be of any real value to them. You think I'm over stating don't you? Well think about it this way... When was the last time you saw a Church running a Single AND Married ministry??? When was the last time you saw a Church bring in a single person to talk to Married people about life??? It just doesn't happen! Once you get to your twenty's you are expected to either be Married or be in a Singles ministry that is nothing more than a meat market to get you to Finally find your true love.
This view point also says something about Married people
It says simply that 'You now have arrived!' You have gone from being a single person who is just on earth looking for someone to Marry to a fully complete human being. Don't believe me again??? How often do you see someone speak about the fact that the Bible talks about Singleness as a blessing (Yes! You read that right, a BLESSING!!!!). Rather whole sermon series spend time talking about how to have a 'Godly Marriage' never do we here people talk about that fact that a huge percent of the Bible was written by people who didn't get married, Think Paul and Jeremiah among others.
My point once again is we can do better
The Church as a whole can do a better job of harboring relationship between married people and single people because we all have something to offer to each others lives. The Church can stop building programs that keep singles and marrieds from each other and get out of its own way to allow true community to happen.
So here is what we can do
We, Married or Single, people can stop allowing are relationship status to define who we are and start looking to God to define who we are because the truth of the matter is God doesn't care if you are single, married, divorced, married with kids or single with kids, he simply wants all of you. He wants you to find your identity in him and him alone. God doesn't want to be your 'number one' he wants to be your everything. So if you are single stop believing that that defines you. You are "The one Jesus Loves" (Brennan Manning) and if that becomes your identity that your relationship status doesn't really matter all that much.
I wish I could tell Married people what to do
But, as a single guy, I have yet to wrap my head around what it means to find your identity only in God and yet have become one with another person. Maybe some day I will be able to tell you what I think you should do but for now I can only say that God doesn't ask for Part of us he calls for ALL of us.
I can say that for you married folks please, I'm saying it again, go find some single people and invite them over for Dinner. I promise you if you do they will love it because they will get to see what a healthy marriage looks like and I'm willing to bet you will get a lot out of them because us singles have a lot to offer to the world.
Finally
I hope we all can struggle to find a way to live our relationships out in a way that God honoring and encouraging to the people around us. My we find our identity only in Christ and never stop loving the people around us.
The way Churches deal with relationships annoys me
I mean really annoys me. To the point where, as a single guy, I at times considered walking away from the Church just because of this one issue. It makes me want so badly to walk away from the Church because I can't stand having to deal with this issue.
Now don't get me wrong
Not every Church is as bad at this as some. My Church today does a much better job of this than Churches I have gone to in the past but still this issue is present. Like a sickness that is often missed or simply ignored. It sits there just under our noses, begging to be understood and fixed but sitting there like nothing is happening.
The problem lies in the fact that we now view it as normal
Or maybe even worse we view it as right. We think that there is nothing abnormal about this view point of relationships. I mean why would we? The Church, our go to for relationship advice, has been selling this view point since we graduated from High School and got to the age when getting married was possible. So of course us Church goes have taken this view of relationships hook, line, AND sinker!
The view point is simple, and even if you're never thought of it this way its the truth
It simply says if you are single you have nothing to offer to married people because you just don't understand and they have moved past the point in their lives where you are able to be of any real value to them. You think I'm over stating don't you? Well think about it this way... When was the last time you saw a Church running a Single AND Married ministry??? When was the last time you saw a Church bring in a single person to talk to Married people about life??? It just doesn't happen! Once you get to your twenty's you are expected to either be Married or be in a Singles ministry that is nothing more than a meat market to get you to Finally find your true love.
This view point also says something about Married people
It says simply that 'You now have arrived!' You have gone from being a single person who is just on earth looking for someone to Marry to a fully complete human being. Don't believe me again??? How often do you see someone speak about the fact that the Bible talks about Singleness as a blessing (Yes! You read that right, a BLESSING!!!!). Rather whole sermon series spend time talking about how to have a 'Godly Marriage' never do we here people talk about that fact that a huge percent of the Bible was written by people who didn't get married, Think Paul and Jeremiah among others.
My point once again is we can do better
The Church as a whole can do a better job of harboring relationship between married people and single people because we all have something to offer to each others lives. The Church can stop building programs that keep singles and marrieds from each other and get out of its own way to allow true community to happen.
So here is what we can do
We, Married or Single, people can stop allowing are relationship status to define who we are and start looking to God to define who we are because the truth of the matter is God doesn't care if you are single, married, divorced, married with kids or single with kids, he simply wants all of you. He wants you to find your identity in him and him alone. God doesn't want to be your 'number one' he wants to be your everything. So if you are single stop believing that that defines you. You are "The one Jesus Loves" (Brennan Manning) and if that becomes your identity that your relationship status doesn't really matter all that much.
I wish I could tell Married people what to do
But, as a single guy, I have yet to wrap my head around what it means to find your identity only in God and yet have become one with another person. Maybe some day I will be able to tell you what I think you should do but for now I can only say that God doesn't ask for Part of us he calls for ALL of us.
I can say that for you married folks please, I'm saying it again, go find some single people and invite them over for Dinner. I promise you if you do they will love it because they will get to see what a healthy marriage looks like and I'm willing to bet you will get a lot out of them because us singles have a lot to offer to the world.
Finally
I hope we all can struggle to find a way to live our relationships out in a way that God honoring and encouraging to the people around us. My we find our identity only in Christ and never stop loving the people around us.
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