Travel II.

(Slow your breath down
Just take it slow
Find your heart now, oh
You can trust and love again
Slow your breath down, just take it slow
Find your smile now, oh
You can trust and love again..... Future of Forestry)

{This is the second in a series of three about the process of moving and what God is teaching me through it...  Here is a link to the first one so you can get caught up on whats going on. Travel I.  Enjoy.}

Moving is quite the process
You have to basically pack up your whole life into two cars and move 12 hours away from the place you have known most of your life.  It was for me a very exciting and scary process as you tell all your friends "See you at Christmas time" and walk out the door of your house on your to a new life in a wholly different state.  Then the process of the move truly begins as you drive for the next two days (mind you I only moved 12 hours away).  You get the chance to spend time with your sister and your mother, at least I did, and you get to enjoy a night at a hotel as you enjoy the journey to your new home.  Its all very exciting and fun.

But there is something the never tell you about moving
Hollywood never tells you this.  Your parents never told you this, even if they have moved a bunch of times in their lives.  And even if your family or friends did tell you this you would be to excited thing about the move to even listen to what they are saying to you because "I Know!".  So what is this thing they never tell you?  What is the secret that I missed because I was to sure the I knew?

Moving doesn't end when you move in
 Moving is a process that takes a long time after you are moved into your new house.  Sure you have moved from one location to another but you have not moved at all.  Your mind is still stuck at your own home.  You still think about that girl you like back in your old home state.  You still wonder if she likes you.  You still think about your friends back home and your old church.  Your mind still tells you in some way that this is 'just a vacation' and that your friends will suddenly show up at your door asking you if "you want to go see a movie?"

But slowly your mind realizes this isn't a vacation
 And this is when moving gets hard.  Because tomorrow your friends, from back home, aren't asking you to hang out, if fact there's a chance they aren't even thinking about you at all.  That girl you like has moved on, and why wouldn't she?  You life remember?  And sure people miss you but missing someone doesn't make them be where you are. And it sucks!  You start to miss a lot of stuff.  You start to wonder if you really followed God or if you just did what you wanted.  You start to wonder why in the hell you moved.  And sometimes you my think you want to go "home".

And then it gets worse than that
Because you realize that "home" is no longer home.  Sure the people have the same names and all.  And they are still your friends but they have changed and so have you.  As the months pass you have become something new and different and they have lived their life without you.  And this makes you even more sad because the home you always knew is now different. And is no longer the home you always knew and the people have found out how to live their lives without you.

But then God speaks up
He whispers into your ear that tomorrow your friends from home may not come but tomorrow he will still be lord and he will still love you.  He whispers to you that you are loved at that home is not a place here on earth anyways so find your home in me.  And then he does something amazing!  He sends you friends.  People you can't believe you ever lived without, and sure it my be a bunch of women from your school class, or people from your work who you never hang out with outside work, or it my be people who are no where near your age but he will send you friends. 

Then he speaks to you again and says something very simple
Something we often forget when we are going through tough times.  He says it again to remind you.
He says "I LOVE YOU"
And then you know it is all worth is and that if you would just slow down and enjoy the ride it will all make sense when the time is right.


(If you leave I'll still be close to you
When all your fears rain down
I'll take you back a thousand times again
I'll take you as my own.... Future of Forestry)

Daylight....

(Hold on,
Daylight is coming
To break the dawn.
Daylight is coming...... Remedy Drive)


Its always seemed to me
that the easiest thing for me to do is to forget the daylight when the night is upon me. Its like when I am in a place of darkness mentally I just can't remember what the daylight looks like.  When I see only darkness in my life I forget about looking for daylight, hoping for the sunlight, dreaming about those warm summer days and live only in the winter my darkness has taken me too.  Some where deep down I think in those times of darkness I know that daylight is coming back but when you can't see something believing it is there gets really hard.


I grew up in the great state of Minnesota
Home of some of the worst, coldest, longest winters I know of.  When people from Minnesota talk about "Really Cold" their normally talking about something, at least, a few degrees below zero.  Minnesota winters commonly start in early December, or earlier, and normally go till the end of March or Start of April.  And January is by far the worst.  You are normally looking at a sun that sets around 5pm and temperatures below freezing for most of the month.  As you live through the month of January in Minnesota it is sometime hard to remember what summer feels like.  You forget that Sunlight last for more than 8 hours at some point in the year.  You forget how to drive on dry roads.  You forget what shorts are.  You forget what being warm is like (okay maybe that's just me).

This is how I feel when I forget about God
When I allow my darkness to become the only thing I can remember I become bogged down in my own darkness and weakness.  When I look to myself for help I become cold as winter and dark as night.  Often these times come when I allow myself to be so busy I forget that life isn't about me.  Just how the only way to make it through a Minnesota winter is to have great friends and family who know how to take situations that suck and turn them in to something awesome I must learn how to lean on God as I work through my winters of hard ache and allow him to remind me that summer is coming and daylight has already come in his Son.