This week mattters..... a lot.

This week is the most important week the Christian Church has seen in years
The way the Christian Church responds in this week is the week that the next year hinges on.  If we, as Christ's Body, respond wrong we will have years of digging out to do.  If we are unable to fight for what really matters this week we have lost the battle and are failing at being God's people. If the response here is not right I might be finding my way out of the Church for a few years.

This week is important because it is holy week
This week matters because as everything else goes on around us we need to focus not on politics and homosexuality but on the fact that this weekend Jesus carried his cross to a hill and died to show love to sinners like me.  He took on the death that we all deserve.  He died a horrific death, that I deserve, to be the sacrifice we all need to set us free from sin. When Friday comes the focus needs to be on the sacrifice that Jesus gives to us to save us from ourselves.

And then it gets even better
Because come Sunday Jesus stands up and walks out of the grave and sets us free from our sin forever. This should be the biggest thing that the Church talks about for the rest of the week. That is what really matters this week is that we have been set free from sin. That there is this amazing guy named Jesus, who is also God, who died on a cross for you and me.  This week I would like to think not about the sin in myself and the world but rather see the person who freed me from my sin.

So for me I'm gonna spend the rest of this week thinking about Jesus setting me free from sin
I want this week to be about God setting us free from sin.  Including homosexuality, sexual immorality, lust, judgment, greed, etc.  I want to stop fighting for the world to live like me and fight to point the world to the man who died to save us from sin. I want to love first.  I want to die on the same hill Jesus died on, the hill of love. I'm tired of fighting sin in a world of sinners I want to fight for love in a world that knows not love.  The issue of same-sex marriage can be addressed at another time. For this week I want love to be seen on earth.  I want the world to see that God is love.  For now I would rather see us shout about the fact that Jesus died on a cross to save sinners, like me, than point out peoples sin.  I want to die on the cross next to Jesus, dying to show love.

Please join me in focusing not on sin but on love. Because I believe the goal is to fight hate with love not fight disagreements with judgment and politics.

What do you think?  What should the focus be this week?        

I Am strong enough....

(I won't give up on us, God knows I'm tough enough and God knows we're worth it.... Jason Mraz)

The other day I read this a Twitter
And since Twitter is always a great place to find quick little thoughts like this that, often, seem very true, I simply read it and moved on like it was a normal simple thought.  Also the fact that it was posted by a Christian friend who I trust greatly and the fact that the picture that went with it was of her Church worship service led me to simply agree with the idea behind this quote and move on.  


But here is the problem this quote is just plan wrong
God knows I'm tough enough?  Since when does God give a damn about how tough I am? If God was planning on letting me get away with only doing what I was tough enough to handle I would never do anything of any meaning for his Kingdom. If God only give us what we could handle, be tough enough for, than I question if God even exists because if I can handle everything than why do I need God?  If there is not a deep need in my life for God why would God even be there?  If I can handle everything in life, if I'm tough enough for all of this, than I would guess I am pretty close to being a god.

At this point even I feel like I am saying crazy stuff
So here is what I am thinking.  God doesn't give us stuff we can handle.  He doesn't say "Oh, you are tough enough for this". He says "I'm going to give you more than you could ever handle, I'm going to breaking down any toughness you think you have and leaving you broken on the floor if you believe you can handle anything." And after he says that he will keep going and say "However if you are willing to see that you cannot handle life, that what I throw at you is, in fact, more than you can handle, I promise to be there for you and walk through the good and bad times with you because the I Am is strong enough to handle this"

Now think about that for a second.......
What keeps us held back, I believe, is not the stuff going on around us but rather the fact that we believe we can handle it.  What keeps us from living the life God wants us to (and I am the worst of sinners when it comes to this) is believing, for even a second, that we are tough enough to handle it.

When I take the situations around me and say "Don't worry God I got this!"
I am done.  There is no hope for me.  I am like a man who jumped off a boat having no idea how to swim and having been to dumb to take something that floats with me, I am without a doubt dead!  But if I look to Jesus I will surely walk on water.  But once I start believing I have it under control I will once again be lost at sea.

I pray God will give me more than I could ever hope to handle and then grab my hand and say "I got this son.  Just keep your eyes on me and I will take you through all of this because I AM is strong enough."

When You Can't Find God at Church....

{This is part two of an on going series about my Journey from High School to today.  Post one can be read here. http://theidleassembly.blogspot.com/2013/03/when-you-need-faith-like-child.html}


( And I must be an acrobat ,To talk like this and act like that., And you can dream, so dream out loud, And don't let the bastards grind you down.  U2)

It happened sometime in 2008.  The exact day I cannot remember and don't really care too
This day was a day that changed my life forever.  It was not a day of great tragedy, as we understand tragedy, but rather a day when something set in to my spirit that would forever change the course of my life.  This day that I felt something leave me that remained lost for many years, and in some ways has never come back.  It was on this day that, for the first time in my life, I was unable to find God at Church.  I would go every Sunday and play guitar and talk to my friends.  I would go every Wednesday and hang out with youth kids but I never met God at that Church after that day.  I fact even now when I go visit I still feel like something is missing.  Like the God I love has no desire to interact with me in that place.

So what happened?  How did I stop experiencing God at Church?
The events that led me to this day started over a year before that day.  They started in a small community college in Minnesota in a classroom of 20 people talking about Philosophy.  For the months of that class I sat there as the only Christian and listened to the other people in the room openly blast Christians.  I could not stand up for Christians because what they were saying was not wrong.  In fact for the most part they were spot on.  For the most part when they screamed about Christians being Anti-Gay and Pro-War they were speaking the truth, sure maybe they took it a step to far or stereotyped all Christians but even still they were often right about what they were saying.

And then I would go to Church on Sunday's hoping that these Christians would prove me wrong
Hoping they would show me that Christians are not all the bad things the world thinks.  That in fact the people at this Church are better than that.  But then I would sit there as people talk about Gay people like they are so much worse than you and me.  And they would talk about being Pro-life while sitting there saying we need to go to war to protect the people of our country, America.  And as this went a long I did what I had always known how to do I put on a face.  I acted like everything was cool and I still loved Church well at the same time I told the Youth Pastor I couldn't teach any more, because I had no idea what I would say, and as I spent my free time racked with doubt about a God who's people clearly forgot to listen to the messages he was speaking.

So a few months later I moved from community college to a private Christian school
And was quickly kicked in the face with the reality that many Christians just don't know anything about the world outside the Church walls.  And in fact, even worse, many Christians just don't care.  It often seemed like the goal of these Christians was not to bring Jesus to the world but rather force the world live a Christian life (whatever that means?).  And so I went to Church on Sundays, and Wednesdays, hoping to see Christians who really cared about the world and came up empty. 

And then it happened, sometime after my summer internship and before Christmas break
It was that day when I just knew I NEVER wanted to be a Christian again.  I didn't want a damn thing to do with people who stand up and shout about abortion being wrong and then turn around and yell for America to go to war.  I no longer wanted anything to do with people who talk about the lesbian and gay community like they are the worst of sinners and never build a relationship with anyone who they believe is living a life of sin.  And it was on that day that I stop finding God in Church....

And maybe it was that day that I lost my faith in the Church and maybe even in God
But I don't think so.  I believe that was they day I lost my faith in Christians.  That was the day I lost my faith in people who claim to have a hope in Jesus but talk about how the world is falling apart or how things were better in the 50's when this was a "Christian Nation".  And sadly for me it was that day that I stopped finding God at Church.

Thankfully God has never cared much for staying in a man made building
And thankfully I was able to learn that the God I love is not a Republican, Anti-Abortion, Pro-War, Anti-Gay white male.  In fact God is indeed Anti-Sin by he is also Pro-Love.  I found out, in time, that the God I love would have loved a person long before telling them how to live their lives.  I found out, in time, that God does not see sin the same way we do.  I found out, in time, that God is Pro-life in the way that he wants EVERYONE to find life in him and therefore wants NO ONE to die before they find him, baby or warrior alike.  And I also found out, in time, that God is not worried about the would living the way he wants us to but is rather longing for us to live in relationship with him.  And, in time, I found a Church where I could meet God because I found out that God is happy to meet me where I am as I struggled with believing in the people of the Church.  And finally, in time, I learned that God will meet me when I seek him no matter where I am and no matter how much I don't want to believe in his Bride, the Church, he still loves me and tells me to love myself as his Bride.

Have you ever lost faith in Christians? God? The Church?

 

When You Need Faith Like a Child....

(And this time I don't have an answer. But don't think that I haven't tried, I still have the heart of a seeker. But I need the faith of a child, I need the faith of a child. O.C. Supertones)

So for those of you who don't know this I was once a Biblical Studies Major in college
At least that is what my major was for awhile before I ended up switching to Ministry.  Now the reason I have always told people for the switch from Bib Studies to Christian Min was because I would be able to graduate earlier, because I wouldn't have had to take 3 semesters of Greek.  And this is all very true, even if it still took me 5 years to get done with my undergrad, but that is just not the whole story.  Because if I had really wanted to be a Bib Studies major I would have gladly stayed in school a little longer because I would have been doing something I wanted to do.  But I just didn't love it.  I thought when I started school I would love studying the Bible none stop and digging deeper and deeper in to the words that I was reading.  I mean I love the Bible why would I love studying it?

Now there are a few things that turned me away from Biblical Studies, 
And a few that in time turned me away from Christian Ministry and almost to the point of leaving the Church all together. These things are things I still struggle with today and I consider myself pretty darn sold out to following my amazing savoir Jesus.  So what are these things you ask? 

First, and I would say most painfully, the Christian bubble
If you have ever gone to a Christian school there is a chance you know what I am talking about.  This bubble is the bubble that acts like everyone should be a Republican who is Anti-Abortion but yet pro-war (Someone please tell me how that works?).  This bubble sits around and talks about how "His Theology is so off base."  Or talks about everything in Christian jargon.  And the worst of all of the things that happen in this bubble is the why Christian people talk about non-Christians in judgmental tones and at like the world should live like they do.  If you still can't understand what I am talking about than you are most likely living in a Christian bubble.

Second is the fact that when you study something to much you often lose the joy
This might not be true for everyone but for me when I start to spend to much time breaking something down it just becomes so robotic, so normal, so dead.  When I spend to much time breaking it about I lose the joy of just enjoying it.  Think about it like this I love Basketball, it is by far my favorite sport, but I love watching it with other people so much more because they still see it with childish eyes.  At this point I have coached Basketball for a few years and have played it long before that and been watching it for years so now when I was Basketball by myself I spend all my time breaking down the Offensive systems and analyzing every little part of the game.  Because of this the game has lost a lot of the joy.  I now longer view it as something exciting I just view it as something to study and break down.  Now I often saw this happen when I was a Biblical studies major.  I would study the Bible all the time to the point where the last thing on my mind was to spend a little free time reading and praying.  I mean I was studying it all the time anyways so why did I need to spend more time with it?

Third arrogant views of the scripture
I often felt myself, and often saw people around me, become arrogant about views of the scripture.  Acting like we knew everything about the scripture because we knew how to study.  But this was just never true.  The scriptures are God's creation and from everything I see else where in God's creation the story just keeps on unfolding and the beauty just keeps on getting more beautiful.  So what right do we have to act like we know all the answers? 

I guess I would rather have faith like a child
I would rather feel like I enjoyed my relationship with Christ than feeling like he is just a science project.  But he had become just that to me.  He had become something I could quantify.  I could study him like I would study a math problem or a frog. But this just isn't the way I find God.  To me God is not a science project he is someone I want to get to know not something I want to study.  I so want to have faith like a child.  I want to be able to learn about God and his word not take the relationship out of it and study God like he is not a person but rather a frog to be dissected.  I want to want to run to God when I fall and cut my knee.  I want to be able to have him tuck me in to my bed at night and wake me up in the morning but simply saying "Wake up, Adam".  I want to see God as my father who I love.  I want know that God will be there when I come home no matter how far away I run.  And I want to know above all that he loves me and always will.
 I want faith like a child to carry me to my saviors side where he tells me "I love you my Son."


Do you struggle with having joy about following God?  Do you feel like you have the faith of a child still left in you?


{This will be the start of an going set of posts about my Journey's from College to today and how my faith has been shaped by these times of great doubt, joy, happiness, pain and faith.  I hope you will enjoy walking down the road of finding my faith in God that I now enjoy today.  The Journey is often the Destination so here is my Journey.}  

Would you let me see the world behind your eyes?

Today at work I saw this large, 15 passenger, van at the gas station
No this normally is nothing to write about, I mean I see 15 packer vans all the time, I even drive them at work on most normal days. So the van was not really the thing to made me stop and think, and then write, it was things about the people and the van that struck me.  First there was the fact that there were only three people in the van, a mom and two kids, and the kids were sitting in the back on different benches.  Second, which didn't happen till we were both driving away from the gas station, I noticed that on the back of the van there were maybe 10 "Jesus Fish", which is cool with me I mean you are clearly either way into Jesus or way in to fish, but the thing that throw me for a loop was the bumper sticker that said "How much does an abortion cost?  A life." 

Okay now I get it you are trying to be pro-life and stand for what you believe in
But here's the thing.  I was offend and pissed off and I myself am pro-life but it just seems so unneeded, so offering to simply throw a bumper sticker on your car and expect that to fully cover your story and the story of the people who have had abortions.  I mean I get it abortion sucks.  It robs someone of life and causes great pain in the, would be, mother who aborts the child.  But don't for a second think that you know her story because I don't know what led her to get an abortion and I don't know what led you to have that bumper sticker on your car but I know for damn sure there is more to the story than what we know each other from a bumper sticker or a side walk outside an abortion clinic.  And I can promise you that if I, as a pro-life person, am offend by your bumper sticker than whoever has had an abortion whats to kill you when they read that sticker.

I'm sorry for this becoming a rant but I think that this is important to talk about
I guess for me I wish that the person with the 10 Ichthys' and the offensive bumper sticker would have saved the 3 dollars they spend on that sticker and the 20 bucks they spend on the Ichthys' and would have used that money to drive to an abortion clinic and comfort the women who are going through with the hardest thing they will ever do.  I wish that rather than a bumper sticker, that does no good to shine light into a dark and dying world, there would be a hand reached out to hold the hand of someone who simply needs a little love and a whole lot of grace. 

Now I know that this idea seems crazy
What could a pro-life person and a women just walking out of an abortion clinic have in common?  Simple!  They both have stories to tell.  They both have lived lives of good, bad, and ugly.  And, most importantly, they both need grace and love.

I guess for me whenever I feel like finding my way onto a soup box and yelling
I think about how much I just don't know peoples stories.  I don't know what got you to where you are.  I don't know the pain and hurt that has led you to this place.  I don't know what experience you have had with Christians and their bumper stickers.  I don't know what led you to place that bumper sticker on your car.  And I don't know the world behind your eyes.  But I do know you and me need grace and love.  We need living water.  We need a hand to hold and a shoulder to cry on.  And I know I WANT to know your story.  Because before I can say anything about you and your life I must know your story.

It seems to me that before we can tell people what they should and should not do we need to know their story
Before we stand up and tell them how to live their lives we need to get down and tell them our story.  Because I don't know about you but someone telling how to live my life just makes me resent that person and want nothing to do with them. And for sure a bumper sticker has never made me think "Oh man I should stop doing sinful things!" Or even for that matter "Oh I should vote for that person".

I guess the way I see it we, as Christians, have made things more complicated than need be
I think we have become to worried about evangelism models and far to worried about getting people to live "Christian lives" (whatever that means?).  I guess when I look at Jesus' life here on earth the way he led people to himself was to simply say "Follow me" and I guess we should follow his lead.  Rather than spending money on bumper stickers and shouting about how to live a life we should live amazing, on fire, alive, lives and say to people "Follow me to my Savoir."  We should learn peoples stories and tell our own and allow people the chance to see that our lives with Jesus are great and worth living and that they should join us.  We should stop trying to make the world live like us and do our best to be salt and light.  We should find the story behind peoples eyes before we tell them how to live.  And we should show love and grace in every situation.

Where do you struggle most with ungrace?  What have you seen lately that bugs you about some Christians? 

 

Feminism.... because of my daughter

The reason Feminism matters as I see it is because of my daughter
Now before you say "yeah, that's what every father should say" you should understand that I am not married, don't have a daughter, in fact I don't even have a girlfriend.  But to me feminism matters because if I, some day, have a daughter I want her to be able to have a life of equality.  I want her to make as much money as the man doing the same job as her.  I want her to have a voice that carries over the men in the world who are trying to keep her voice quiet.  I want her to know that she is more than a good looking object that is to be below a man who knows better.  It matters to me because I know as a father I would kill anyone who treated my daughter as an object.

But more then that I want my daughter to be able to know and understand she is an equal
I want her to know that without the many women in the Bible we would have no hope for tomorrow. And I want her to understand that yes Easter and Ruth and Deborah played huge parts in God's plans but I also want her to understand that there are other important women in scripture.  Women like Mary and Martha.  I want her to understand that Jesus could be considered the first great male feminist as he used those two women, Mary and Martha, to find his empty grave and show the men that he was alive again.  I want her to be able to understand that Jesus views her and loves her as an equal. I want her to know that when Peter denied Jesus three times and was no where to be found at the cross there stood four women weeping at the death of Jesus {1}  And most importantly I want her to see herself as an equal to any one, not above or below.

So then what is at stake?  Everything!
Everything is at stake to me.  Because without equal rights for women we are missing the point of the Bible.  Without equal rights I feel we are missing out on hearing voices that must be heard.  Without equal rights for women how can we as Christians ever talk about equal rights for all races when we can't fight for the rights of people in our race of origin.  Without equal rights for women my daughter may never dream of being president.

The reason why I am a Feminist is because before I was alive someone died for my equal rights
Before I was Jesus died to make Jew and Gentile equal.  He broke the old law that kept someone like myself, a Gentile, separated from God.  Jesus died in order to make equal rights possible for me and called me to follow him to the cross and fight for equal rights.

So for my daughter I want you to know you are loved
I want you to know you are equal to any man and that your voice needs to be heard because you have something amazing to say. I want you to know that you are greatly loved.  I want you to know that no matter what the TV tells you you are more than your body.  I want you to know that there will be people who try to silence your voice because they fear what you have to say.  I want you to know that you should never stop speaking up, never stop being who you are.  Never bow under the foot of someone who views you as less than themselves.  I want you to know that you are loved by the maker of all things and he sees you as equal to any man.  And finally I want you to know that I love you enough to die for you because when my time comes to leave this earth I want your voice to be able to be heard on an equal playing field.  So to my, future, daughter I long to see you look back and me with the confidence to go change the world and with a love that asks for nothing back.  I love you.

(This post is part of #Femfest a three day blog conversation about feminism.  I hope you enjoyed it and here is the link to the link up that will lead you to much more reading.  Enjoy.  http://www.fromtwotoone.com/2013/02/femfest-day-two.html)

Its in the way you move....

I find myself often in what I would call the desert or valleys of the soul
I'm sure you know these moments as well.  The moments when everything you normally love and enjoy does nothing to make you feel alive, at it times it makes you feel even worse.  The moments when no matter how much you try to get a hold of God he seems to be miles away and avoiding answering his cell phone.  I had one of these just a few weeks back.

I would be at work trying to hear from God the whole day
I would come home and listen to worship music and read my Bible and do all the things that a "good Christian" is suppose to do in order to encounter God.  But yet God seems to stay far off.  As I run from one random activity, who's goal is to encounter God, he seems to run away from me as I seek to find him in the places that "good Christians" are meant to find God.  As I do the religions things that are meant to lead me to God I find that God often stays far off.

So let me tell you about a time like this when God seemed far off
It was a Monday morning, a time of great darkness anyways, and I was struggling with what God's will was for my life.  I remember being at work feeling like all I wanted to do was go back to bed.  I remember cleaning a car, because that's what I do, and at one point yelling at  God "What the F*** are you doing with my life???" because I was so lost as to what God's will was for my life.  I remember feeling pretty close at times to quitting my job, dropping out of school and running away to be a sailor.  (I have no desire to ever be a sailor, just using that to make a point.)  I remember this lasted till Wednesday evening.  I tried and tried to find God in all the "right" places.  I sat through Wednesday Morning prayer with four other, awesome, Christian men praying all the right things and all that Jazz.  I read my Bible and prayed non-stop.

But the way I finally experienced God was in the place no "good Christian" wants to be
It was in the place that many Churches today will speak messages about how to avoid this place.  A place that I try to find my way out of as fast as possible.  This place is at the hottest, driest, most barren place in that desert of the soul.  And even worse than that it was in the place where I sat down and give up.  I turned away from God.  I said "God, I am broke and undeserving of you at so I am leaving you."  It was in that moment when I heard God speak for the first time in days.  It was in that moment when Aslan breathed new life into my bones.  It was in that moment that, if only for a moment, I knew that Jesus was sitting on the couch next time me saying "Adam, You are greatly loved and I never left you I was simply waiting for you to stop talking and working and doing more stuff and sit down next to me in this desert".And this is when I figured something out about God or at the very least the way I experience God. 

I have figured out that meeting God is not about what I do or say
It isn't about being a "good Christian".  Or listening to great worship music.  Or praying the right prayer.  Or even going to Church.  Meeting God is, often, not about mountain top experiences and conferences meant to show us steps to a happy Christian life.  Its not about any of these things. Experiencing God is about something much simpler.

Its about the way he moves..
Experiencing God is in the way he moves
Its in the way he holds my heart
Its in the way he speaks to me gently
Its in the way he holds my hand
Its in the way he lets me yell at him
Its in the way he allows me time to find my way to the ground
Its in the way he bends down to the ground to speak to me
Its in the way he walks through the desert for 40 days or 40 years to tell me I am loved
Its in the way he speaks as all hope is lost
Its in the way he walk through the pain with me
Its in the way he says I love you
Its in the way he is all at once next to me whispering in my ear
Its in the way he is all at once silent
Its in the way he listens to every word I say
Its in the way he needs only say a few words
Its in the way he speaks and I know it was him
Its in the way he waits for me to slow down
Its in the way he doesn't allow me to avoid pain
Its in the way he says not what I want to hear but what I need to hear
Its in the way he could shout over it all
Its in the way he doesn't shout but whispers
Its in the way he waits for me to find a place of intimacy and openness
Its in the way he carriers Living Water to me when I am in deepest need
Its in the way he knows my name
Its in the way he knows my deepest, darkest, secrets and yet still loves me
Its in the way he wants a relationship with me not a religion
Its in the way he says I LOVE you
Its in the way he sets me back on my feet
Its in the way he says follow me
Its in the way he says I LOVE YOU

Experiencing a relationship with God is never about doing the right thing
Experiencing a relationship with God is about sitting down with him until he tells you to get up and follow him.  A relationship with God is about intimacy and moments of brokenness.  A relationship with God is about giving up the idea of being a "good Christian" and just laying down next to an amazing Savior until he tells you to get up and follow him.  Experiencing a relationship with God is about living out a relationship not a set of rights and wrongs.

How do you find God speaking to you?  Does it ever seem like God speaks to you when all hope is lost?

 
    

I am a Feminist.... even when I never wanted to be...

Feminism is a word I think we think we know what it means
At least in my mind the first thing that comes to my mind when I hear the word feminism is women living there lives in a way that basically says "I am better than men and don't need a man, or any man, in my life".  Now this clearly is a very misguided viewpoint of feminism.  But even still this is what I think of when I see the word feminism.  And because of this view point I want nothing to do with that mindset.  I want nothing to do with a group of women who live their lives like they are better than any man and that the world would be better without men.

But here is the problem That Is Not FEMINISM
Feminism at its core fights for women to be heard.  It fights for women to be equal, not above or below.  It fights for women to be able to do what makes them come alive. Feminism fights not for a world without men but fights for a world where women are on a level playing field with men.  Feminism at its core is equal rights.

One of the saddest conversations I had recently was with a friend of mine
Who happens to be a women.  The words she said are stuck deep in my brain as she said "You will never find a less feminist women than me."  Wait what?  You don't want women to be equal and have a voice to speak as loudly and as often as any man?  You want women to be in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant at all times?   If that is the case I think you missed both the point of feminism and have been miss reading parts of the Bible.


Now I get it we all have bad thoughts about good things sometimes
I admit I sometimes have a hard time with Black History month and I consider that one of the greatest months of the year.  But we can't let our negative view of a word stop us from living out the truth that is behind the word.  Feminism's goal is equality and I believe in equality and because I believe in equality I must believe in Feminism even when I don't want to be associated with the word that has become something totally different than what it was meant to be.

Feminism to me is like the word Christian
Follow me on this for a second.  Christian and Christianity have a lot of bad viewpoints and thoughts about them.  Christians are often thought of us gay hating, judgmental begets.  And Christianity is often viewed as the thing behind the Crusades and the whole thing with the Catholic Church and child abuse.  But at the end of the day even if I don't want to be labeled as a Christian there is just no way to better describe my beliefs.  Because at the end of the day my goal is to be a Little Christ, which is the true meaning behind the word Christian. And there is the thing about feminism.  Is no matter how hard I try there is just not a better way to describe the way that I want to fight for women's rights than to call me self a feminist.   Because at the end of the day I believe in fighting for equal rights for everyone because that is what I believe my Savoir, Jesus, would want.

So even though I don't want to be a feminist
Because the word has lost its true meaning in many ways but my goal is equal rights and an equal voice for both male and female and as such I, Adam Nash, am a Feminist even when I don't want to be.

(This post is a post in the three day syncroblog called Femimisms Fest.  Here are the links to join in the conversation.  Enjoy.     http://www.fromtwotoone.com/2013/02/announcing-feminisms-fest-synchroblog.html  And here is the other one.  http://loveiswhatyoudo.com/2013/02/26/feminisms-and-me-femfest-link-up-day-1/)

I'm a Desert Soul....

(All that I am is dry bones
Without You Lord, a desert soul.... Rend Collective Experiment)

I've never really spent time in a desert, I mean I grew up in Minnesota
And now live in Michigan, neither place is a desert.  But I can take a guess that a desert is a place that I don't want to be, why do people move to Arizona again?  I mean most deserts are hot and have no rain at all and therefore little or no water.  But the even crazier part about a desert, a hot desert anyways, is that when it does rain it doesn't really do anything to help the dryness of the desert.  In fact it gets worse because when rain does comes to a desert the water runs down the hills and cracks in the desert so fast that it is so dangerous that if you are in a desert when it rains you my very well die of drowning because the ground is so parched that it cannot absorb the water fast enough to do any thing to stop the water from running away.  The ground simply cannot handle the water because it has become so use to being dry.

I guess sometimes I feel like a desert
Sometimes no matter how much time I spend praying or reading my Bible or writing I just can't seem to feel anything other than parched.  As much rain as I can put into my life it just never seems to do anything but run right over me like a desert. And here is where I'm gonna say something that seems strange even to me.  But yet is the only thing that ever works.  At that is simply that sometimes I need to stop trying to drink more and more and just sit down and little the living water come a heal my soul. I mean I guess sometimes God just wants us to sit down in the desert and wait for him to bring us a class of water.  Sometimes he wants me to stop walking toward the edge of the desert and just be happy where I am trusting that he's gonna give me Living Water rather then a down pour that kills my soul. I guess this thought is still a work in progress but I'm thinking that for now God is telling me to be okay with trusting that he will give me what I need rather than me trying so hard to find out what tomorrow brings I just need to be content with where God has me right now.  So here is to finding Living Water in a desert of sand.

What do you do when you feel like a desert soul?

Whats Your Story???

What is your story?  What would you tell to a friend about your journey over the last few months or years?
How are you seeing God work in your life?  How do you feel lost?  How do you feel found?  What is the thing(s) in life right now that define you? What is your story?

Here is mine 
It will only scratch the surface of my life and even if I had all the time in the world and a book deal I would struggle with what to write.  This story does not have an ending, in fact it seems farther from even having a clear flow at the moment then it ever has.  Today this story seem more complicated and more confusing than it ever has but it is the story that I will tell and at some point in life I am sure it will have a chapter ending but for now it is in the middle of a chapter I can not see the end of yet, oh how I wish I could skip a head and see the chapter break but for now I am taking it one word at a time.  So here we go.

January 2012 I sit in my bed room in my parents house
I am on the phone talking to my brother, like we did from time to time back then.  We are talking about the normal everyday stuff, you know Basketball and how great his church is, when he gets a more serious tone and says "Hey so you know I am just about to buy a house and I am looking for a roommate and after all this praying and talking to people I can only think of one person that I would want to be my roommate and that is you."  To which I think "I'm not moving anywhere near Detroit!  I want the west coast not Detroit, God!"

February 2012, Superbowl Sunday, at half time we talk again.
A few weeks later he comes in town for our friends wedding and I am still thinking "Josh I just don't think its happening, I mean I am doing great things here and I feel God at work in my life right here."
Then comes April when I come out to Detroit to visit looking for God to send some kind of crazy sign that he wants me here.  But rather then that I just end up driving home, with nothing crazy having happened, knowing the whole way home that I will soon be moving to Detroit.

Now fast forward to now
At the moment I sit in a coffee shop in Famington Michigan a few miles away from Detroit and Redford the place I now call home.  In the time since April I have moved to a new state, started a different job, started grad school, had my heart broken, considered dropping out of grad school, considered moving back to Minnesota and struggled with what the hell God is doing with my life and why he has me here in Michigan for this time.

 But you want to know the crazy part?
 There is one way that I can explain what I feel about what God has been showing me.  One thought that keeps coming back to me.  One thing I cannot shake from my mind.  It is this simple thought "Trust the Storyteller".  Every time I am in a place of doubt, every time I want to say "God I am done trusting you, I'm doing this on my own!" He simply says to me "Adam, Trust the Storyteller".  All God wants from me right now is to trust him that he is writing this chapter, the paragraph, this sentence, the next word.... He isn't asking me to think about tomorrow, or worry about the next chapter, he simply wants me here right now.  He wants me to learn to trust him, the Storyteller, to bring this chapter of my life to the place he wants it to be.

Think about it like this....
Could anyone other than J.R.R. Tolkien have wrote the Lord of the Rings?  Could anyone other the J.K. Rowling have done Harry Potter?  Can any author other then C.S. Lewis have written The Chronicles of Narnia?   I would say the answer is, a resounding, NO!  So then the great question, for me personally, is why do I keep trying so hard to write My Story when only the Storyteller, God, can write my story? I guess that is the way I try to see it is that my story is in the hands of the only person who can write my story.  And if right now I don't have any idea where its going then I just need to hold on tight and trust the Storyteller to get me to a chapter break alive, and I know he will because I don't think my story has come to an end yet!     

Life is an Adventure.....

Have you ever been climbing?
I mean like really climbing not walking up the side of the hill, that is often called 'scrambling' or maybe I'm the only one who calls it that, but really climbing.  Like if you were to fall with out a rope and harness you would have a fun fall to the ground before breaking your legs or maybe dying?  If you've ever gone climbing you will understand this, if not I'll explain it! As best I can because I haven't gone much in my life.

Climbing is hard work, really hard work.
In fact in many ways climbing sucks!  When you get done climbing a wall, or as they are called in climbing a 'problem', you are truly spent.  Your hands and wrists are sore and you feel beat up... but you also feel like you are on top of the world because you have done something amazing.  You have climbed to the top and made it through all the pain and problems that come with climbing. 

Now I have only ever climbed inside, in a very safe place where short of stupidity or disaster I was not going to die or even break a bone.
But that isn't real climbing and even if I was outside its still not the craziest climbing style.  There is a form of climbing where you climb up mountains for days in freezing cold temps well you sleep on the side of the mountain in a tent hanging hundreds if not thousands of feet off the ground. And if that is not crazy enough you are always on the edge of death.  And yet you press on toward the top because that is where you missions goal lies.

I guess I think the craziest thing about a sport like climbing is how much of it is no fun
I mean you spend days and days on the edge of death just to reach the top for a few minutes of great joy.  You have to work so hard just to get a few minutes where you are on top of the world.  And then even when you get there you have a few day trip back down to earth.  Where once again you walk on the edge of death.

So I guess the way I see it is this is a great example of our lives with Jesus
We seem to want to spend all our time on the mountain top these days with conferences and worship services and what not trying their darnedest to keep us on that freaking mountain top.  Its like everything about Christianity in America is trying to keep us on this crazy emotional high that is just not reality.  Because what the hell would be the point of a mountain top if you didn't climb anything?

I guess to me it seems like God wants us to spend less time trying to stay on the Mountain top
Dare I say I think God is tired of us acting like its possible to stay on that one mountain top.  He's tired of us thinking that the goal of living with him is to stay on said mountain top.  It seems like God is calling us all to live and adventure not a safe existence on a mountain top.  It seems like he is calling us to a higher mountain top than the one we are fighting so hard to stay firmly planted on.

In a great adventure there are ups and downs.  There are hard times and good times
But yet we often want only the good times.  Here is another way to think about it.  If you are a caffeine user, like myself, then you know that the more caffeine you drink daily the less effective it is at keeping you awake.  The reason for this is that your brain stops producing the chemicals that keep you awake and the more you drink caffeine the less of these chemicals your brain produces.  So you become dependent on caffeine to keep you awake because your brain forgot how to do it. This is the same thing that happens to people who are taking much stronger drugs.  But when you take stronger drugs you get to the point where you brain stops making the chemicals that bring you happiness and joy and so you are stuck having to keep using in order to find happiness.

But yet this is how we want to live
Even though God calls us to live a life that climbs one mountain and then heads down to climb another we still just want to stay on mountain top number one, even as we look out and see there are more mountains to climb. Again it seems to me like God is calling us to live an Adventure.  An adventure with ups and downs.  Pain, heartache, and joy.  Because God wants us to understand that he is faithful and will carry us up greater mountains than the one we find ourselves on now.


In adventure, as in life, it seems like 90% of it is hard as hell and painful as can be
But if we don't have valleys how can we ever understand how great the mountain top is?  If there is no work to get to the top than what is the point?  If we are never struggling through the hells of life than how can we ever understand Gods faithfulness? If we are at the top than why do we need God?

I guess to me Life is an Adventure.... Get out and start living it!
Start climbing another mountain.  Start living on the edge.  Because God is tired of us sitting on our hands trying to stay safe.  So here's to Adventure!

What adventure is God calling you to?  Is he simply calling you off a mountain and on to a greater adventure?
 

Thoughts on American Culture... Or Thoughts on the Superbowl

Yesterday was the day I have started to call "The Fattest day on earth"
Also known as Superbowl Sunday.  This is the day when all of America has a reason to eat tons of fattening snack food and pizza and Taco Bell and.... etc. all in the name of watching a sporting event that, I would guess, less the 50 percent of the people at, any given, party really care about.  I know that I spent 90% of the game playing card games and chess. In fact I was so disinterested in the game that I did not know about the 'blackout' until the game was seconds away from starting again.

But I still looked up from Cards enough times to find a few things out about America
I already knew these things but this just drove the nail that much deeper in to the board.  I would guess that if you watched the game you noticed these things too because I only looked up here and there and these thoughts were driven so deep into my brain I my never get them out.  Even worst they were seen in so many places though out the night that you could never over look them.

1. Objectification is in vogue. 
Never in my life have I fully processed how much the world tries to devalue people.  The crazy thing about this is that everyone is up for some objectification and devaluing, it doesn't matter how famous you are you are not safe from being devalued.  And heaven forbid if you are good looking because if you are than the only thing you are good for is your body.  If you don't believe that this message was being sent then I invite you to go watch the Go Daddy add with Bar Rafaeli or if the simple objectification is already so firmly planted in you brain go watch the Samsung add about the next thing which involves two famous people talking like fools and then they find out that there is a bigger "next big thing" and his name is Lebron James....

2. Budweiser will use ANY means to sell a few more beers
And cue Budweiser house add!  I mean come on!  Its cute and all but you are selling beer?!?!?! Crappy beer at that and you will go to the point of trying to make people cry in order to sell beer?  Way to go Budweiser you will win add of the year awards by being the first beer company to make people cry. 

3.  People will hate you just because they want to hate you
Last night Beyonce was the half time show.  And as much as I don't really like her music I can at least see she has talent.  I mean anyone who can sing that well and dance that well not long after having a child is something special.  But yet people were more than willing to hate Beyonce for no real reason.  I mean sure she could have had more clothes on or she could have done less 'sexual' dances but the lady song beautifully and she did what any good half time show does she had you watching.  Even if you hate her you, yes you, were watching.

So whats the point of me writing this?
I guess the reason I write this is because as I sat around "watching" the game I was struck by how much the messages of the adds and half time show were running in the opposite direction of what God calls us to live out.  I guess that is really the whole thought.  We are called to live here on earth in a way that is Counter-Cultural.  We are called to Love people even when we may not like them.  We are called not to sell God by any means but rather to Follow Him.  And we are for sure called to value people more than Culture today values anyone.

So lets go and find a way to live Counter-Cultural lives..... 

What Defines you?

I am a rather tall person
For those of you who either don't know me or just haven't been paying attention I am tall.  At 6 foot 4 inches I am taller than something like 92 percent of the population of the world.  And as such it is not uncommon for random, and I mean truly random people like kids at Wal-Mart or People at Church that I've yet to have a conversation with will simply blurt out, before anything else is said, "You're really tall!"  So at this point in my life hearing this is so common place that I will simply say "Yes. I am" and move on like nothing out of the ordinary happened.  Now I could easily say that being tall is something that defines me, and to many people this is a way to define me.  I mean I am indeed tall.  But it is rare that I think of my height as something special or even allow it to define me; in fact I often wish I was shorter because than I would be able to have an easier time relating to younger kids (They are often scared of me because I am so tall) and wouldn't have to deal with the "Oh you're tall can you get this down for me?" All the time, I mean I am happy to help but it gets old because I never get to ask someone shorter than me "Hey you're short can you get this for me?"

So in my life I have learned to not define myself by my height
I have learned to, unless as a joke, not use my height as something that makes me special or set apart. But yet the question still lingers 'What defines you?'  Am I defined by the fact that I am a musician? Am I defined by the fact that I am in grad school?  Or that I am a writer (want to be)?  Am I defined by my job?  Or where I live? Or by my relationship status? Or even by my actions and the way I show love?

I guess I think that if I were to be defined by anything in my life I know what I want it to be
I want to be defined by how the person who loves me most sees me.  I want the greatest love of my life to be the person who defines me.  I want nothing else to matter when it comes to defining who I am because when I come to that person, the one who loves me most, I know that they will see me as I am. Well everyone else will only see my actions or things that I do but not who I am.

This brings me once again to saying that if there is one way I want to be defined 
The thing that I want to define my relationships is this simple and amazing fact.  A thought that we often forget or simply take for granted.  If I could be defined by only one thing it would be this fact.

I am the one Jesus Loves
Did you read that?  You and me we are the people Jesus loves.  The people that God became flesh loved enough to die a criminals death for.  You are the person that Jesus loves.  That thought alone should both rock your world a new every day and hold the world on its axis.  That thought alone is what should define me because if my whole world crashes in to the sea and I'm left with nothing.  If my talents fail and I can no longer work or go to school or write than after all of that I will still be loved by Jesus.

Think about the way my life, and yours, would change if this thought alone defined our lives?
Think how much easier it would be to love those people who are mean to you if what they say does not affect your identity?  Think about how the world would change if we walked in the confidence that are lives our not defined by anything other than God's love?  If we did not define ourselves by where we live or who we voted for but rather lived our lives as people defined only by God's love?


So what defines you?  Is it the stuff in your life or the love of God?    
 

The Church and Relationships Bug me!

[This is the third post in what ended up becoming a series, even though I never planned no writing a series of any kind.... but here it is, hopefully the last post in the series of things that Bug Me About Relationships. Here is the first one And here is number two.... Enjoy!]

 The way Churches deal with relationships annoys me
 I mean really annoys me.  To the point where, as a single guy, I at times considered walking away from the Church just because of this one issue.  It makes me want so badly to walk away from the Church because I can't stand having to deal with this issue.


Now don't get me wrong
Not every Church is as bad at this as some.  My Church today does a much better job of this than Churches I have gone to in the past but still this issue is present.  Like a sickness that is often missed or simply ignored.  It sits there just under our noses, begging to be understood and fixed but sitting there like nothing is happening.

The problem lies in the fact that we now view it as normal
Or maybe even worse we view it as right.  We think that there is nothing abnormal about this view point of relationships.  I mean why would we?  The Church, our go to for relationship advice, has been selling this view point since we graduated from High School and got to the age when getting married was possible.  So of course us Church goes have taken this view of relationships hook, line, AND sinker!

The view point is simple, and even if you're never thought of it this way its the truth
It simply says if you are single you have nothing to offer to married people because you just don't understand and they have moved past the point in their lives where you are able to be of any real value to them.   You think I'm over stating don't you?  Well think about it this way... When was the last time you saw a Church running a Single AND Married ministry???  When was the last time you saw a Church bring in a single person to talk to Married people about life???  It just doesn't happen!  Once you get to your twenty's you are expected to either be Married or be in a Singles ministry that is nothing more than a meat market to get you to Finally find your true love.

This view point also says something about Married people
It says simply that 'You now have arrived!' You have gone from being a single person who is just on earth looking for someone to Marry to a fully complete human being.  Don't believe me again???  How often do you see someone speak about the fact that the Bible talks about Singleness as a blessing (Yes!  You read that right, a BLESSING!!!!).  Rather whole sermon series spend time talking about how to have a 'Godly Marriage' never do we here people talk about that fact that a huge percent of the Bible was written by people who didn't get married, Think Paul and Jeremiah among others.

My point once again is we can do better
The Church as a whole can do a better job of harboring relationship between married people and single people because we all have something to offer to each others lives.  The Church can stop building programs that keep singles and marrieds from each other and get out of its own way to allow true community to happen.   


So here is what we can do
We, Married or Single, people can stop allowing are relationship status to define who we are and start looking to God to define who we are because the truth of the matter is God doesn't care if you are single, married, divorced, married with kids or single with kids, he simply wants all of you.  He wants you to find your identity in him and him alone.  God doesn't want to be your 'number one' he wants to be your everything.  So if you are single stop believing that that defines you. You are "The one Jesus Loves" (Brennan Manning) and if that becomes your identity that your relationship status doesn't really matter all that much.


I wish I could tell Married people what to do
But, as a single guy, I have yet to wrap my head around what it means to find your identity only in God and  yet have become one with another person.  Maybe some day I will be able to tell you what I think you should do but for now I can only say that God doesn't ask for Part of us he calls for ALL of us.
I can say that for you married folks please, I'm saying it again, go find some single people and invite them over for Dinner.  I promise you if you do they will love it because they will get to see what a healthy marriage looks like and I'm willing to bet you will get a lot out of them because us singles have a lot to offer to the world.

Finally 
I hope we all can struggle to find a way to live our relationships out in a way that God honoring and encouraging to the people around us.  My we find our identity only in Christ and never stop loving the people around us.

  
 

What you CAN'T let go of....

I've never been much of a pack rat
In fact I try my best to not hold on to stuff longer than it is useful in my life.  Old clothes that don't fit are pitched aside with out a seconds hesitation. Things that break I throw away, often, before I find out if they can be fixed.  Pictures of old events gone by have never even been my thing.  I live in the here and now and throw away anything that is not longer of use to me.

But I ask this question of myself
What is the one thing you CAN'T let go of? What is the thing that you hold on to no matter what? What is the thing that if it was broke you would keep just because?  What is it you CANNOT get out of your life?

Now at this point in my life I feel like I have given up quite a bit to follow God
I have passed on chasing after higher paying jobs in order to be able to serve God in other ways.  I spent quite a bit of money on hanging out with teenage kids in order to mentor them in their relationship with Jesus.  I have moved out of my home state, from a better paying job, to a place where I know almost no one and often feel totally lost as to what my next move is here in Michigan.  And this isn't taking into account that stuff that the world thinks I've given up.  Like sex, drugs, and rock n' roll (I still listen to and love rock n' roll so I didn't give that one up).

So why do I ask this question? 
The reason I think this question to be important is because I believe it is the question God asks of us.  At least in my life this for every time I get to the point where I think 'So God have I given you enough?' he says 'Not yet'.  And I think I have found that in my life he keeps asking me for the one thing I can't let go of.  It seems like God is out to make me see that he is really all that matters.

 Its like God looks me in the eyes and says 
"If all you have is me, if your whole world comes crashing down, and you're left with just me, no friends, no job, or money, or car, or house or....... Would I be enough for you?"  I believe God knows what is best for me and that because of this he keeps asking for a little more.  He wants me to see me depend on him just a little bit more.  He wants me to be just a little bit more commented to him. Because the reality is that God wants ALL OF ME.

Think about it in this way...
When you play on a sports team, lets say Basketball because I know that sport well, at the start of the season the coach hands you the playbook and there are maybe 2-4 plays in the playbook.  And at the start of the year he teaches you a zone defense which is a defense designed to give you less responsibility because just cover a zone not a man.  But as the season goes on he expects more.  He adds plays to the playbook and teaches you a man defense, which is the best defense because it requires that everyone know who they are covering and also knows that they are expected to help when someone gets beat, and just as you think you have it figured out he throws more at you more plays, a new way to play man to man defense.  And the coach just keeps asking for more because he wants you to be the best you can be.


This I believe is how God is with us
He wants the best out of us so he keeps asking for more.  And in due time he asks us all to find out what we can't give up and then he says "Okay, now give me that."  And because God loves you and is seeking the best for you he keeps asking for you to believe and become more depended on him.


So I ask again, and I ask myself as well, what is the thing you can't give up?  What are you holding on to that God is asking for you to give?  What is God asking for you to give up next?

Single People Bug Me!

Single Christians Bug me
Again don't get me wrong there are tons of single christian people that I love.  Most of my closest friends are single people.  I myself am single and therefore I spend a lot of time around single people.  But single Christians still bug me.  Because again singles can seemingly only talk about being single in two ways.  And are seemingly unable or unwilling to talk about in a way that isn't just an extreme to one side or the other.

Let's spend a few minutes looking at the two sides
On one side you have the people, once again, who can only talk about how horrible it is to be single.  You know these people.  The girl who is always talking about how much she wants kids and a husband even when shes around a bunch of guys who are clearly thinking 'Girl if your that desperate I do want anything to do with you!'  Now guys are maybe a little less vocal about their desire to not be single but its still there.  Think about the guy who in every conversation fits in the fact that they are single.  I always want to be like "Thats awesome bro that you are single but I just don't care." Every single person on earth is guilty of this at some point.  As a single person I apologize for acting like being single is painful sickness that I need to simply find a women to heal my problems.  Last I checked adding another life to my crazy life doesn't really seem to add up to an easier life but rather double the stuff to struggle through.
Next you've got the people who act like being single is the most amazing thing ever.  This is most often seen in men.  We sit there and so how awesome it is to be single "Man, I can do whatever I want whenever I want."  "Being single is awesome because I can date whoever I want." I can't say I know of any women who act like being single is great but if you know any let me know. But this is such a stupid thing to me.  I mean yeah I like being able to do what I want but I would trade all that for a girl who would love me in a heartbeat.

But there's more to it than that
Being single is not a sickness. According to scripture it is a blessing because it means I get to spend more time working for God's Kingdom come on earth.  Which is pretty awesome but I still would gladly give up this blessing to be married.

I guess what I'm getting at again is we can do better
Single people act like being single is great or horrible and married people do the same.  I just think we can do a better job of looking at the two.  They both have pros and cons.  I'm sure married people have times when the wish they were single and I know for damn sure that single people have times when they wish they were married.   So if you are married I challenge you to go found some single people and speak the truth about marriage with them.  Tell them about the ups and downs.  About how some days you don't want to be married and some days you can't think of ever being any where else.  And do your best to talk about marriage in a way that shows them how hard and amazing it is to be married because us single people need and want to know about that.

And if you are single
Go find some married people and learn from them.  Learn about how to be married and how hard and amazing it is to be married.  But also enjoy your time being single because once you get married its over, and for the rest of your life you have to think about another person.  Finally if you are single don't act like being single is amazing when you are around married people.  They were single once they get how awesome it is and how horrible it is being single.  Just can we all agree to just have real, open, and honest conversations about being single and married.  I believe we owe that to each other as Christian people to talk about something like this is an honest way.

Do you find yourself talking about Marriage or Singleness in a overly good or bad way?  If so what can you do gain a clearer understanding of the married or single life?        

Let's Risk the Ocean....

I have never lived close to the Ocean
but I've been to the ocean many times, well the beach anyways.  I mean I've gone swimming in the ocean, on both coasts of America, and I've even been out, a little ways anyways, on to the ocean on a sail boat.  I mean I know the ocean a little.  I have always had tons of fun when close to the ocean.  I fully plan on living at least some of my life close to the ocean.  I want to be able to learn how to surf before I am to old to even consider surfing. I want to be able to hang out on the beach whenever I want and just enjoy the sun.

But since I've never been out on the ocean I forget
I forget that the ocean is a scary place.  There are things about the ocean the frighten me.  Sharks, Stingrays, Waves and Current, to name a few, and like hell if I'm ever gonna head out to sea on a Shrimp boat like from those reality TV shows.  Because that isn't what I want.  I don't want the risk of the ocean I want the fun.  I want to be able to walk on the beach and enjoy the sunny days well only braving the ocean far enough out that I can still clearly see the shore, and the safety of land.  I sure never want to see the scary parts of the ocean, I mean come on I was meant for land not water.  The thought of not being able to see land scares me to no end, to the point of panic, because land is safety to me.  I know and understand land.  Its rare that, where I live anyways, earthquakes makes the ground move and swim around me.  Hurricanes by the time they get to where I live are nothing more than big thunderstorms.  Sure we deal with snow and cold, rain and wind, but I can always stay inside to avoid these things....

But on the Ocean risk is ever at your side
Everything you do is a risk.  Even on the nicest of days at sea (from what little I know about shipping) is a scary thing.  At anytime a large storm could pop up and send you into a life or death situation.  And any moment the calmness of the sea could change and your ship could be getting rocked by massive waves.  And at any moment you could fall of the ship and drowned before you ever see land again. And that is a scary thought.

But I believe we are called out to the sea
We are called to live an adventure not just a normal life.  We are called to step out on the ocean and live with our lives in God's hands trusting that he will keep us safe as the ocean around us rocks us to and fro.  But so often we walk the beach saying to God "I'm by the ocean, isn't that enough?"  And from time to time we dip our toe in the water and say "Look I got in to the sea!" And if we are really crazy we head out for a swim or even to surf some waves back toward dry ground and we say "Look how far I made it out to sea this time God!"

But God wants more
He doesn't just want me to get into the water he wants me to head out to sea, to the scary, panic inducing, none stop adventure of the ocean. He calls you to risk the ocean with him and be sure he will keep you safe.  But then just when you think "Okay God, I got this!" he says "Good, now jump out of the boat and trust that I will keep you safe."

Life with God is far from the beach
Sure he calls us back to the beach in the right time to rest and recover from the scars of our time at sea; but the beach is not where God wants us to live he wants us to live a great adventure with him that will surely involve risk, pain, and heartache but will also involve joy, peace, and fulfillment.... and most importantly Love and Grace.  Time to get off the beach!

 

Clockwork and calculation. Heartbeats and Handholds....

I fight a war inside myself everyday
I can easily look at the world from two very different perspectives and these two perspectives are opposing views of the world.  And so I fight these two viewpoints inside my brain every minute of everyday.  They war against each other with every thought that goes through my head. 


These two viewpoints can be boiled down to two pairs of words
Clockwork and Calculation and Heartbeats and Handholds.
On the one hand you have a cold and calculated view of the world.  And view that simply views the world as a risk-reward decision making process. Boiling the whole world down to nothing more than clockwork.  Taking the humanity out of the equation and viewing everything in a very simple decision making process.  In this viewpoint who you are and what you're going through but rather my brain simply looks at you and sees what I can gain or lose, or how it profits me, to help you or be your friend. 
The other viewpoint looks as you as a 100% human and looks not at how I can gain or lose but rather how I can be there for you.  I becomes all about being there to hold your hand when your heartbeats hurt. Its all about walking with you as the chaos goes on around us.


Now the hard part about this war
Is that I can't say I feel like either one needs to die.  I believe that as much as I see that being there for people is hugely important and that I should do everything I can to sit with people as they go through the ups and downs of life.  I understand and believe that love can never truly be love unless it goes through hell and comes back alive.  I understand that, as a Jesus Follower, I am called to love people and hurt with people in every situation.  I fully believe that Heartbeats and Handholds should be our first view of the world.  But I also believe that we must at times be able to remove ourselves from the emotion of a situation and be calculated.  I feel I owe it to the people around me to be able to at times make hard decisions that may hurt them and me.  The problem comes when I become cold and calculated out of my own insincerity and attempts to seem strong.  If that is why I view life as clockwork and calculation then I have missed the point of love.   

Married people bug me!

Married Christians annoy me!  

Don't get me wrong I love them and have some great friends who are married but they still annoy me, a lot.  The reason being it always seems like married Christians can only talk to singles about marriage in one of two ways... either they tell you how much it sucks or they tell you how amazing it is.  There never seems to be an in between.   

Let's unpack the two ways married people talk to singles about marriage.  

First they tell how much it sucks. For example I have a friend who says 'no one who doesn't have kids is allowed to be tired'  and I'm like 'hmmm last I checked I feel tired and I don't have kids?'. Or the husband who ALWAYS talks about his wife as 'the boss' or 'the ball and chain'.  I mean come on guys!!! We can do better than this! And women do this thing stuff!  like how some women Alway talk about there husband like he's a child... come on ladies that stopped being funny the first time you did it!  

Then there is the 'every thing about marriage is the most amazing thing ever!' people.  You know these people right?  The people who always act like your life has no meaning unless you are married because marriage is the pinnacle of life and that that is when life starts.   These people say stuff like 'oh you're such a nice guy you should get married!' Ummm Thanks!  Trying, its not that easy.  I mean I'm happy that God sent you an amazing person to live the rest of your life with but so far God's been blessing me with being single!

So whats the point of me writing this?

I'm not trying to sit here and hate on married people.  I really am happy for you that you found an amazing person to live you life with.  I just think you can do better.  I think married people can have better relationships with singles than I see so often inside the Church. I mean can we still be friends?  Can't you still be honest with me?  Or is marriage some kind of secret club that I can't join until I get married?  Can you not remember when you were single?

I guess all I'm asking for is a little understanding

And a little help and guidance.  I mean maybe some time you should tell me how you found your bride/husband.  Or tell me that marriage is hard but its all worth it because you are with your great love.  Just be honest with me.  Tell me the truth about marriage.  Don't act like because you found your great love that it is easy, trust me its not!  And finally please don't act like there is something wrong with me because I'm single.  The writer of most of the New Testament, Paul, was never married and he seem like he did some pretty great things.  Singleness is in fact a blessing because I get to spend more time serving God.  So finally please just be honest with me!  And understand my life is tough too just for different reasons.

(I know some great couples who are my friends and honest to me so don't think I'm talking about everyone but there have been times when I have had a hard time finding married couples who would be honest with me about the greatness and toughness of the married life and I believe we can all do better.)