And your life doesnt change by the man.... continued.

Its been about a week since I wrote about the fact that I have lost the view point of being an America.  And at the time I wrote the first post I was, truly, totally lost as to why it mattered to be or why it should matter to anyone.  Or in what way, if any, that view point should get me to change the way I live.  So I spent sometime thinking about it, talking about it, praying about it.... and so far there are a few things I see.  So I will share them with you.

At my work there is this guy.  He is a Christian, I have no doubt about that, and he loves politics and love America.  But at every turn I hear him talk about how the economy is going to crash or how America will soon be under martial law.  And this I think is one of the things that moves me so deeply to feel the way I do.   Simply put it is that fact that, as followers of Jesus, our well being and hope is not in America, or any other nation for that matter, it is in our Lord and Savior Jesus. This seems so important to me. Because knowing that no matter what happens to America my life is not about what is going on around me but rather about my ability to grow closer to God and shine his light.

I have friends of mine, all great Christian people, who supported the way in Iraq(1), well they, seemingly, voted on a president based largely on the fact that he was "pro-life".(2) Well to me one of the greatest things that comes from this view point of not being an America (as I touched in the first post) is the fact that you do not view politics as the answer and hopefully this gets you, and me, working harder to change the people and world around us rather than waiting for someone else to do it for us.

My Mother, who I love very much(3), who believes, in someway, in America as a Christian nation. And to me this is something I wish I felt okay about believing but as I look at China and see that a nation that no one would consider being a Christian nation I start to believe that maybe seeing America as a Christian nation has made us complacent?  Because if China is the place where the Church is growing the fastest and its not a Christian nation than maybe if we stopped view America as a Christian nation we would see growth a little more like China.

Let me finish by saying that in no way to I expect you to join me at this view point.... if this is a place where God wants you to be he will get you there.... but what I do want for all of the Church, me most of all, is to be asking questions about the status quo in order to keep growing and changing.  So this is where I am and I pray that you are finding more out about God and yourself everyday.  Thanks for reading guys.


{(1.) Let me just say that I support the reason behind the war.... however I can not find a way to justify the death of people for a war.  Again I find myself at a place where I can honestly say I don't know how this works..... guess I will have to write about that when I get a better idea.}

{(2) It has for a long time seemed to me that no matter what political party, of the two big ones, don't know much about the other ones, you vote for that that party finds a way to kill people.  If you vote Republican they go to war and kill people in other countries as well as watch Americas die.  If you vote Democrat then they allow abortion which kills many unborn babies.....  Seems to me like the both have their problems.}

{(3) Feel free to comment, or talk to me about this mom, since I have put you here on my blog.

Church....?

I honestly wonder if this is what the church needs?   Do we really need a new, nicer, building?   Do we really need another church building at all? 

And your life doesn't change by the man that's elected.....

[This is a post that I have been think about writing for quite awhile.  I have struggled for a long while about how to best write this post.  About how to go about taking my thoughts and putting them down on paper.  I ask you to before you read this that you understand this is still a work in progress, as I am and as we all are, and that you do not take what I write as fact but rather fight though what I say and find out what you think about this and talk to me about this because it is something I fight with daily... so here goes.]

This last week I had the great joy of going to watch a hockey game, for free I might add, it was tons of fun, as I knew it would be.  But as they always do at the start of any sporting event there was the National Anthems, I say anthems because there was a team from Canada in the game, and as the American National Anthem was being played I started to tear up.  But not for the reason most people in America do.  Not because I loved the anthem and felt some great patriotism.  Not because the guy's voice was so amazing, and it really was amazing. I started to tear about because I could think only of miss guided worship, commitment, and passion........................

I love America, I really do.  I count my blessings everyday that I live here.  That in one hour of work I make nine days worth of money in many countries. I count my blessings that I live in a county where air conditioning and heat are viewed not as a luxury but rather a normal part of everyones house. I'm glad I live in a country were over 90% of people, including me, have a job.  I truly love America.  But I am not an American.  In case you missed that I will write it again.... I am not an American.   This is not my home. 

So where does this leave me?  Standing, crying, at a national anthem I will never call my own?  And here is where my greatest struggle has come in writing this.  Its the fact that I love America but can never call myself an American.... I belong to God's kingdom first and foremost.  No I am not an "American Christian" I am a Christian who happens to live in America. 

The line that is the title to this blog is by the band The Avett Brothers and I feel as though this is something all of us Christians in America need to hear.  We need to know, and live, in the reality that the next president will not change our lives.  We need to live in a way that changes the world ourselves.... we need to stop being Americans, Republicans, Democrats, Tea Partyers, and start being followers of Christ.  Stop view America as something that it is not.  It is not now, nor was it ever, a "Christian Nation".  There is no such thing!  Not here on earth until Jesus comes back to earth and sets up his kingdom.  So stop living your life like this is a Christian nation and start living your life like you are an outsider who is longing to be home. 

I think at this time of the apostle Paul who boasted about being a Hebrew, and Israelite, and a Descendant of Abraham, and yet later said "For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."  Paul, to me, seemed to live ever with his body and mind in the present well never losing site of the future in heaven.  He never lost site of his real home. I pray we can all learn to do the same.  I pray we can all live for Christ in a world that is violently against us.  I pray we.... No!  I pray I can learn to live as a foreigner in a land that will never be mine.  And I pray I can ever live with my eyes on home.

....................... I think of the thousands upon thousands of men and women who have died for and against America. I think of the many, many Christian men (and women) who served in war, who killed for a Country that is not their own.  I think of the way many Christians support war.  I think of my friends when asked the Question "When should violent action, like war, be used" and they answer, "when there is no other option".  I wonder is that what Jesus would have said?  I wonder if Jesus who said “Give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s.” would have today considered himself an American?   And finally I wondered where to go next?  How to go about living a life as someone who is not an American?






 

Stepping out or staying put?

I always told myself that when this moment came and God presented me with a way to step out of the boat in faith that I wouldn't even need to think twice. I always thought that when "that moment came" that I would have a lighting bolt strike the ground in front of me and spell out the words "Go, do as I say!" Yeah I know that sounds a little over the top, and I really never believed that, but I always thought that when the time came for God to call me, possible, to something new it wouldn't be so hard. That staying put wouldn't seem so attractive. That what God wanted to send me to would be a place where, even if I wasn't comfortable, I would be doing something I LOVE so much it wouldn't even matter.

And now I stand on the edge of a cliff and it all seems so much more cloudy. It seems like I sit up at night yelling out for God to just show me what he wants for me and the best he does is make it so no one says I am crazy for even thinking about this. Or simply having me read Bible passage that just talk about faith, and living for God.

This is when something hit me. Something that proved my former, lighting from the sky, viewpoint to be wrong. This simple revelation is the fact that if God was to send a lighting bolt from the sky to tell me what to do then what would be the point of faith? If I knew before I made a choice then I would never have to believe in God. Faith in God would be like betting on a house that was running a race by its self!!! You already know its gonna win!!! So what kinda faith, risk, or belief is that???

Sure this does Nothing to help me figure out what the next step is in my life but it does tell me to have faith because God may not be the only house in the race but I know for sure that he is gonna be the winning house in the end so I will do my best to listen to the "still small voice" and follow it whenever it leads.

(Prayers and Words of advice are very welcomed!)

Dreaming....

I am someone who is very much so a dreamer, I love passing my time dreaming about whatever my mind can think of. I often find myself sitting around listening to music, or watching sports, or walking around the mall dreaming about anything and everything. Now one of the things I have come to notice about my dreaming is that in my dreams I am often seeking the attention of people, you know dreaming of being an amazing basketball play that everyone loves (yeah that ship already sailed long ago Adam). And in this I find myself dreaming about what the world thinks of me and dreaming about how cool it would be to be something more than I am, I sure never planned on driving cars 40 hours a week and living at home when I was 26, but lately something has in impressed in to my mind, something I have known since I was a little lad but have often (and still often do) forgot. God lately has impressed on my mind that if nearness to him is my primary goal and mission in life then I am right where I should be. Now I don’t want to over romanticize this thought and say that if “Your seeking God first he will give you everything you ever wanted!” because thats not what he promised us, no he promised us everything we need.

Now I think one of the biggest reasons that this learning on God and allowing him to be my everything is so hard for me to deal with is simple….. God’s plan just isn’t lining up with mine!!! And its annoying! Its like come on God, I’m 26, not married, not dating, living at home, working a job I hate, struggling to find what your vision is for my life!!! And as all this goes on, as I yell and shout at God about how his plan just isn’t working for me, he just keeps saying “If you are seeking to be near me above everything else you are right where I want you”. I can honestly say that God saying that to me is one of the hardest things to deal with. I am the kinda person who wants to be in control…. I have a hard time letting other people drive sometimes because I want control and God is saying “Sit over there in the passage seat and let me drive.” Guess its time to move over and let him do just that! Here’s to giving up my dream to search for his vision.

Inspiration.....

nspiration is far and way the hardest thing for me to fake. I can fake just about everything else without even thinking about it. I can fake love, joy, happiness, friendship…. etc. I will openly admit that I am a great liar, one of the best I know, but at the same time its unlikely I will lie straight to your face because the only person I lie to is myself, and I do it all to well, and it is through this lying to myself that I lie to you because what I believe I project and what I project is what you will learn to believe about me, it my take time but my lies to myself will in time become a lie to you that you will believe.

Now what does this have to do with my inability to fake, or lie about, inspiration…. simple. Inspiration must be real. It must come from deep down below the lies that I tell myself. Inspiration can not come from a lie.

Inspiration, at least for me, must also come from outside of myself. If I close myself off to the world, and more importantly God, I can find no inspiration because I tell myself lies so much more than truth that the truth can’t find its way through to me to inspire me… for this reason I need God in my life and I need people in my life who will shine a light on who I really am and show me the lies that I tell myself.

So basically the whole point of me writing about this is to say a few things to you. First to explain why I haven’t wrote anything in almost two months because I was holed up avoiding the people who inspire me the most. Second to challenge you, and me, to find inspiration outside ourselves, and hopefully in God and Friends. And third to say that if you are reading this you are one of the people who inspires me and I hope you never stop being who you are… because I love you (and that’s not a lie!).

Bleeding wrists....

It seems to me that we are all bleeding, we are all in the process of committing suicide. We are all bleeding from our wrists wondering “Why in the hell God ever created me”, asking ourselves all the while if there is any way out? And as we ourselves are bleeding God looks down and says “Peace be still, I am with you”, and as he says these words he takes his, mighty, hands and places them on our bleeding wrist and stops the bleeding…. Then a few days, weeks, or hours pass and we forget all about him and we grab the same knife as before and cut our wrist again. Then God says once again “peace” and stops our bleeding….. the cycle repeats it self over and over again. Almost like it is impossible for us to do anything other the cut our wrists in hope of relieving the pain. No matter who you are, no matter how much you love Jesus, no matter how long you have gone to Church, no matter how often you go to Church…you at times forget God and go your own way, cutting your wrists once again.

Now one thing I have never understood about myself, and many Christians in America, is that as we take the knife to our own wrist and bleed from the cuts we stand up and tell other people how ugly their cut wrists look. It seems so strange to me that as we are bleeding we would look at the other person and say “What stupid, sinful, thing did you do??? You Fool!”

Think about it…. You are dying of a disease well you look to the bed next to you and see someone dying of the same disease and say “How could you possible do something so stupid as to get yourself in this place???” So come on guys! Be honest with yourself. We all do it! No matter how hard we try to air on the side of not judging someone else dying for the same thing we are unable of viewing them through God’s eyes. We just can’t do it on our own… Grace is NOT something that comes naturally to ANY human being… Grace is a God thing. Short of having God show you his Grace and show you how to show Grace we can NEVER learn how to show Grace.

Again be honest with yourself now. How many of you people know someone who is dead set on the fact that he is not Racist or Sexiest and yet never spends ANY time around people who don’t fit in to his/her view of normal, acceptable, people?

All this to say we live in a world of hurting, bleeding, people where God simply ask us to hold the bleeding wrists of the world. God doesn’t want people who have never bled he wants people who can look down at their wrists and see the scares that mark their former selves as he looks us in the eyes and says “Go hold their bleeding wrists as I would”. I truly believe that the greatest action Jesus did on earth was to show us what Grace truly is. To me it seems like Jesus’ whole life on earth was about showing Grace and bring Grace to the world.

So it only seems fitting to me that he had two nails driven deep in to his wrists. Its like at that moment Jesus took on all My pain, all the times I cut My wrists, and looked down for the cross with eyes that only conveyed Grace. Notice how some of Jesus’ last words were words of forgiveness (Luke 23:34). To the very end of Jesus’ life here on earth he showed the world grace.

Today in America we come up against some of the hardest questions the the Church as ever faced. Today we all most wonder what the best answer is to many of the questions that face us today…. and honestly I don’t know the answers, I really truly have no idea if the way I carry out my faith around non-Christians is the right way or not, and honestly I don’t know that it matters if I Know its the right I honestly think just the fact that I am searching for the way God whats me to live me life is enough. As I said before I think God just calls for us to hold the bleeding wrists of the world. Judgment as far as I can tell is for God not me. What God calls me to do is to learn to see the world as he sees it. And I believe that when God looks at you and me he sees not our scares but rather sees his son.

Let me end by stealing something from another, much better writer, named Philip Yancey, which I have quoted before here on this blog, (be warned this is a long quote, but please still read)

“Not long ago I heard from a pastor friend who was battling with his fifteen-year-old daughter. He knew she was using birth control, and several nights she had not bothered to come home at all. The parents had tried various forms of punishment, to no avail. The daughter lied to them, deceived them, and found a way to turn the table on them: “It’s your fault for being so strict!” My friend told me, “I remember standing before the plate-glass window in my living room, staring out into the darkness, waiting for her to come home. I felt such rage. I wanted to be like the father of the Prodigal Son, yet I was furious with my daughter for the way she would manipulate us and twist the knife to hurt us. And of course, she was hurting herself more than anyone. I understood then the passages in the prophets expressing God’s anger. The people knew how to wound him, and God cried out in pain. “And I Must tell you, when my daughter came home that night, or rather the next morning, I wanted nothing in the world so much as to take her in my arms, to love her, to tell her I wanted the best for her. I was a helpless, love sick father.” Now, when I think about God, I hold up that image of the lovesick father, which is miles away from the stern monarch I used to envision. I think of my friend standing in front of the plate-glass window gazing achingly into the darkness. I think of Jesus’ depiction of the Waiting Father, heartsick, abused, yet wanting above all else to forgive and begin anew, to announce with joy, “This my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found”

Now if we, are a Christian community, could only take on the view point of this father when his daughter returned home… the view point of grace and love. Please ask God to teach you how to show grace. And I will do the same. Because with out us becoming a Church of grace Christianity is dead.

Where do you see ungrace in the lives of others? Do you see these same problems in your own life?