Dreaming....

I am someone who is very much so a dreamer, I love passing my time dreaming about whatever my mind can think of. I often find myself sitting around listening to music, or watching sports, or walking around the mall dreaming about anything and everything. Now one of the things I have come to notice about my dreaming is that in my dreams I am often seeking the attention of people, you know dreaming of being an amazing basketball play that everyone loves (yeah that ship already sailed long ago Adam). And in this I find myself dreaming about what the world thinks of me and dreaming about how cool it would be to be something more than I am, I sure never planned on driving cars 40 hours a week and living at home when I was 26, but lately something has in impressed in to my mind, something I have known since I was a little lad but have often (and still often do) forgot. God lately has impressed on my mind that if nearness to him is my primary goal and mission in life then I am right where I should be. Now I don’t want to over romanticize this thought and say that if “Your seeking God first he will give you everything you ever wanted!” because thats not what he promised us, no he promised us everything we need.

Now I think one of the biggest reasons that this learning on God and allowing him to be my everything is so hard for me to deal with is simple….. God’s plan just isn’t lining up with mine!!! And its annoying! Its like come on God, I’m 26, not married, not dating, living at home, working a job I hate, struggling to find what your vision is for my life!!! And as all this goes on, as I yell and shout at God about how his plan just isn’t working for me, he just keeps saying “If you are seeking to be near me above everything else you are right where I want you”. I can honestly say that God saying that to me is one of the hardest things to deal with. I am the kinda person who wants to be in control…. I have a hard time letting other people drive sometimes because I want control and God is saying “Sit over there in the passage seat and let me drive.” Guess its time to move over and let him do just that! Here’s to giving up my dream to search for his vision.